Well a snowstorm and Christmas put my trip to the SDA church here off for a bit. I am still here and looking forward to the new year/new decade!
I have been thinking a lot lately about what works. Prayers go unanswered, positive thinking is a crock, so what works? Fung Shei? Voo Doo? Witchcraft? Spells? Rituals? Sacrifices? Is there anything out there that works in the spiritual realm? I have become such a skeptic in the past year or so, I have come to the conclusion that nothing works. There is no way to change things or make things happen other than hard work and luck.
I used to believe firmly in the power of prayer but if God hears my prayers he certainly doesn't seem to answer them. Nor does He direct me in the right path. Or maybe He does and I just don't know it, but it doesn't feel that way to me. I'm unemployed, single mom raising two children entirely alone. All I want, ALL I am praying for is a job to keep a roof over our heads and allow me to raise them without struggling. Simple right? Well apparently not. Its been two years now since I have worked steady. My inheritance is gone. I've beat my head against the wall trying to think of a business/idea that would net me an income and nothing has panned out. Now I'm broke, my credits gone to shit. God forbid my car breaks down, or even worse that I become ill and can't even look for work. Yes, I know, I'm whining again and I HATE it. I am so frustrated. I just want life to stop being so damned difficult. Anyway, yes, I KNOW I have it better than a lot of people, but damn it I have it worse than a lot of people too.
I just keep dredging along. Cheers, and Happy New Year! Looking forward to better times on the horizon!
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Week Twenty? It's Seventh Day Adventist Week!!!!!
A minor bit of trivia about me is that I actually was a Seventh Day Adventist breifly growing up. It was probably the happiest time of what was otherwise a turbulent childhood.
What is Seventh Day Adventist? Well its a bizarre combination of Judaism and Christianity. They go to church on Saturday and have similiar dietary restrictions as Judaism, in fact most SDA's are vegetarians. They also believe very much in the second coming and the end of times.
I remember going to Sabbath school and my mom reading a great deal about Revelations and armegeddon. Of course this was in the seventies and everyone thought the world was going to end by 2001. As we know now, it didnt. I will be calling the SDA church here today, get more information and attend church this SATURDAY!!!!
I want to mention that I have fallen behind in my blog as I have been experiencing a great deal of depression and stress. An almost debilitating depression to be honest. I continue to be out of work and of course the stresses of taking care of two children occasionally take their toll on me. I'm doing what I can to dig myself out, and I am hoping with prayers and hard work things will improve. The feelings of hopelessness are palpable, some days are better though, I want to thank everyone that is out there praying for me.
Also, I want to thank the anonymous donor that hit the donate button! Donations help me continue this blog as well as help my current financial situation. Keep them coming, no matter how big or small.
Happy Holidays and I am so excited to be revisiting my youth this week with a visit to the local Seventh Day Adventist Church!
What is Seventh Day Adventist? Well its a bizarre combination of Judaism and Christianity. They go to church on Saturday and have similiar dietary restrictions as Judaism, in fact most SDA's are vegetarians. They also believe very much in the second coming and the end of times.
I remember going to Sabbath school and my mom reading a great deal about Revelations and armegeddon. Of course this was in the seventies and everyone thought the world was going to end by 2001. As we know now, it didnt. I will be calling the SDA church here today, get more information and attend church this SATURDAY!!!!
I want to mention that I have fallen behind in my blog as I have been experiencing a great deal of depression and stress. An almost debilitating depression to be honest. I continue to be out of work and of course the stresses of taking care of two children occasionally take their toll on me. I'm doing what I can to dig myself out, and I am hoping with prayers and hard work things will improve. The feelings of hopelessness are palpable, some days are better though, I want to thank everyone that is out there praying for me.
Also, I want to thank the anonymous donor that hit the donate button! Donations help me continue this blog as well as help my current financial situation. Keep them coming, no matter how big or small.
Happy Holidays and I am so excited to be revisiting my youth this week with a visit to the local Seventh Day Adventist Church!
Saturday, November 14, 2009
The Mormon Experience!
First, I have to say, the Mormons scared the shit out of me. It was late afternoon on a Sat when they knocked at my door. When I opened it and saw two men standing there in crisp, white shirts and ties my first thought was , FBI!!!! Of course I suddenly realized these were the Mormons there to explain all things Mormon to me!
Elders Novak and Lott, two very polite, and very nice looking (those Mormons are a good looking bunch!) sat on my front porch with me and answered all my questions. There are a lot of discrepancies about Mormons out there, one of the more common misconceptions is that they are not Christians. This is because of the doctrinal differences. They do not believe that the Father, Son and Holy Spirit are one, they believe they are separate. They do follow the teachings of Jesus Christ though, so doesn't this make them Christian? So confusing.
They do not believe in drinking coffee, tea or wine. This seems strange because Jesus himself drank wine, but they claim that it was not wine he drank but grape juice, that it all translated differently. They explained to me that these things aren't good for you anyway, but the truth is a lot of tea's and even some wines have been proven to have health benefits. This is something I would find difficult to follow. I do love my lattes, my teas and my occasional glass of wine. Although the Elders did say Pepsi was OK. Hmmm?
They explained a little about the Book of Mormon. I am not a historian nor a Biblical Scholar, but some of there historical beliefs seem a bit flimsy. I guess for me, I have a hard time giving that much credence to Joseph Smith. The fact that no one ever saw these golden plates and he apparently wasn't able to relay these accounts a second time to Martin Harris, one of his translators. I don't know, maybe these things did happen as Joseph Smith said, but I, for one, have a hard time swallowing it.
I attended the services on Sunday and Elder Novak was waiting at the front door. He was kind enough to sit next to me (did I mention that the Mormons were a good looking bunch?) and answer all my questions during the service. The first thing that struck me was that the church itself was very plain, there were no crosses, no stained glass windows. Elder Novak explained to me that this is because you should focus on the life of Jesus, not the the death. This made sense to me though, although as I have mentioned before I do rather enjoy some of the pomp and circumstance of some religions.
They took communion right away, which was different than any other church I have attended thus far. This consisted of actual bread and surprisingly water. I am still not quite clear on why it was water and not grape juice, something about keeping costs down. Several members came up that day and gave testimonies about their faith and they seemed to be quite emotional about it. Some even cried a bit. It was interesting and yes, very different than anything else I have seen during my "research".
Honestly, and please don't hate me Mormons, I felt the whole experience to be a bit Stepford Wife. I don't know why, but this is how I felt. That being said, the Mormons do seem to be a very impressive group of people. Very family oriented, kind and respectful. Am I Mormon? I think it's safe to say I am not.
Next week, a new one on me, Apostolic!
Elders Novak and Lott, two very polite, and very nice looking (those Mormons are a good looking bunch!) sat on my front porch with me and answered all my questions. There are a lot of discrepancies about Mormons out there, one of the more common misconceptions is that they are not Christians. This is because of the doctrinal differences. They do not believe that the Father, Son and Holy Spirit are one, they believe they are separate. They do follow the teachings of Jesus Christ though, so doesn't this make them Christian? So confusing.
They do not believe in drinking coffee, tea or wine. This seems strange because Jesus himself drank wine, but they claim that it was not wine he drank but grape juice, that it all translated differently. They explained to me that these things aren't good for you anyway, but the truth is a lot of tea's and even some wines have been proven to have health benefits. This is something I would find difficult to follow. I do love my lattes, my teas and my occasional glass of wine. Although the Elders did say Pepsi was OK. Hmmm?
They explained a little about the Book of Mormon. I am not a historian nor a Biblical Scholar, but some of there historical beliefs seem a bit flimsy. I guess for me, I have a hard time giving that much credence to Joseph Smith. The fact that no one ever saw these golden plates and he apparently wasn't able to relay these accounts a second time to Martin Harris, one of his translators. I don't know, maybe these things did happen as Joseph Smith said, but I, for one, have a hard time swallowing it.
I attended the services on Sunday and Elder Novak was waiting at the front door. He was kind enough to sit next to me (did I mention that the Mormons were a good looking bunch?) and answer all my questions during the service. The first thing that struck me was that the church itself was very plain, there were no crosses, no stained glass windows. Elder Novak explained to me that this is because you should focus on the life of Jesus, not the the death. This made sense to me though, although as I have mentioned before I do rather enjoy some of the pomp and circumstance of some religions.
They took communion right away, which was different than any other church I have attended thus far. This consisted of actual bread and surprisingly water. I am still not quite clear on why it was water and not grape juice, something about keeping costs down. Several members came up that day and gave testimonies about their faith and they seemed to be quite emotional about it. Some even cried a bit. It was interesting and yes, very different than anything else I have seen during my "research".
Honestly, and please don't hate me Mormons, I felt the whole experience to be a bit Stepford Wife. I don't know why, but this is how I felt. That being said, the Mormons do seem to be a very impressive group of people. Very family oriented, kind and respectful. Am I Mormon? I think it's safe to say I am not.
Next week, a new one on me, Apostolic!
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Week Thirteen: Its Mormon Week!
Its finally Mormon week! While I don't know a lot about Mormons I want to say first and foremost that that I have been immensely impressed by the Mormons I have known. They seem to be really great people, albeit a little too damn happy for me! Yes, just like that episode of South Park.
So what do I know about Mormons? I know they were started by Joseph Smith. He claims God had appeared to him and told him to start his own religion. Now, word on the street is that Joseph Smith was working in the field that day, came across some "magic mushrooms" and that this epiphany was really a pre 1960's acid trip. Don't hate me Mormons, I didnt start this rumor!
I know that Mormons don't drink alcohol or caffiene and that it's really a small sect of them that actually live in polygamy. I know they follow the Book of Mormon, which was published in 1830 by Joseph Smith, they were found buried near his home and he had been directed to their whereabouts by an angel. They were written on golden plates and in what Smith called "reformed Egyptian". They were said to tell of the second coming of Jesus Christ although no one but Smith ever saw the plates.
There is a lot I need to learn this week about Mormonism. There are a lot of discrepancies out there about them. As I mentioned in an earlier post I have been told that Mormons are not Chirstians, which has something to do with the doctrinal differences.
I will be calling the Mormon church this week and see what else I can learn about the Mormons. I will also try to find a copy of The Book of Mormon and read into that a bit.
More to come!
So what do I know about Mormons? I know they were started by Joseph Smith. He claims God had appeared to him and told him to start his own religion. Now, word on the street is that Joseph Smith was working in the field that day, came across some "magic mushrooms" and that this epiphany was really a pre 1960's acid trip. Don't hate me Mormons, I didnt start this rumor!
I know that Mormons don't drink alcohol or caffiene and that it's really a small sect of them that actually live in polygamy. I know they follow the Book of Mormon, which was published in 1830 by Joseph Smith, they were found buried near his home and he had been directed to their whereabouts by an angel. They were written on golden plates and in what Smith called "reformed Egyptian". They were said to tell of the second coming of Jesus Christ although no one but Smith ever saw the plates.
There is a lot I need to learn this week about Mormonism. There are a lot of discrepancies out there about them. As I mentioned in an earlier post I have been told that Mormons are not Chirstians, which has something to do with the doctrinal differences.
I will be calling the Mormon church this week and see what else I can learn about the Mormons. I will also try to find a copy of The Book of Mormon and read into that a bit.
More to come!
Monday, October 26, 2009
Mazel Tov!
So, dear readers, I attended the Jewish synagogue Friday night and I have to say this was the most out of my element experience I have had thus far and I absolutely loved it! First and foremost I LOVED the music! It was wonderful, very catchy, I wanted to dance! And at some point I think I may have done just that!
The temple was huge, and of course the abscence of crosses was a bit strange. The star of David was of course, quite prevalent. An extremely nice older man sat next to me, I explained my project to him and he jumped right in, filling me in on all things Jewish and answered all my questions! The prayer book was interesting, as it opened from back to front. Most of the prayers and songs were in Hebrew but the translations were right there in the book. They had a woman rabbi, which I had not been aware that women could be or were rabbis, but yes, they are. I really enjoyed the verbatim that she had with the congregation. During parts of the service you are asked quesitons and everyone gives his or her opinion. She brought up a story about Noah and Abraham, and we were asked which one we identified with. You then turned to the person/s next to you to discuss this and then shared your answers out loud with the rabbi. I really enjoyed this sort of participation. This is something I am not in the Christian churches I have attended, in the bible classes yes, but not in church. Afterward I was invited downstairs where we had food and a toast. I spoke briefly with the rabbi who was very welcoming and invited me to attend the welcome to judaism classes that start next month. I am seriously considering going. I may go to temple again, just to go. I do love Jesus though....
The temple was huge, and of course the abscence of crosses was a bit strange. The star of David was of course, quite prevalent. An extremely nice older man sat next to me, I explained my project to him and he jumped right in, filling me in on all things Jewish and answered all my questions! The prayer book was interesting, as it opened from back to front. Most of the prayers and songs were in Hebrew but the translations were right there in the book. They had a woman rabbi, which I had not been aware that women could be or were rabbis, but yes, they are. I really enjoyed the verbatim that she had with the congregation. During parts of the service you are asked quesitons and everyone gives his or her opinion. She brought up a story about Noah and Abraham, and we were asked which one we identified with. You then turned to the person/s next to you to discuss this and then shared your answers out loud with the rabbi. I really enjoyed this sort of participation. This is something I am not in the Christian churches I have attended, in the bible classes yes, but not in church. Afterward I was invited downstairs where we had food and a toast. I spoke briefly with the rabbi who was very welcoming and invited me to attend the welcome to judaism classes that start next month. I am seriously considering going. I may go to temple again, just to go. I do love Jesus though....
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Week Nine and Ten (maybe 11) I'm Still Here and Hitting the Reset Button
Well I finally made it safe and sound to Asheville, NC. I failed to realize what a monumental task moving three cats and two kids halfway across the US would be and I have been beyond overwhelmed. I still have a ton of unpacking to do and I'm searching relentlessly for daycare for my three year old. However, I love doing this blog, have met some amazing people and I cant wait to get back to my quest for God.
As I mentioned, my move was a bigger task than presumed so I never got around to getting in touch with anyone at the Scientology Center in Dallas. There, to my knowledge, isn't a Scientology Center in Asheville, so I am putting them aside (as I did the Lutherans) and will be doing them a bit later.
Sunday I attended a Jewish Festival here in Asheville. I spoke to one of the women at the festival, told her about about my blog and was promptly invited to attend the synagogue Friday evening! I am so excited! I have wanted to go to a synagogue for a very long time and now I will get my chance! I have so much I want to learn about the Jewish faith! Can't wait!
So its Jewish week! So glad to be back!
As I mentioned, my move was a bigger task than presumed so I never got around to getting in touch with anyone at the Scientology Center in Dallas. There, to my knowledge, isn't a Scientology Center in Asheville, so I am putting them aside (as I did the Lutherans) and will be doing them a bit later.
Sunday I attended a Jewish Festival here in Asheville. I spoke to one of the women at the festival, told her about about my blog and was promptly invited to attend the synagogue Friday evening! I am so excited! I have wanted to go to a synagogue for a very long time and now I will get my chance! I have so much I want to learn about the Jewish faith! Can't wait!
So its Jewish week! So glad to be back!
Sunday, October 4, 2009
An Open Letter to God
Dear God,
If I ever needed you, I need you now. I need to know that you are here with me and that I am making the right decisions. I am exhausted, I have no one in my life that I can count on, if its true that you are here I need you now. Please God, help me. I can no longer continue to pay for mistakes I made in my past. I can not go through life being a tortured soul. If there is something I need to be doing to make things right for myself and my children, please, show me the way. I need to be forgiven and I need to know you are here for me. I need to be forgiven. I need to be forgiven. I NEED to be forgiven.
If I ever needed you, I need you now. I need to know that you are here with me and that I am making the right decisions. I am exhausted, I have no one in my life that I can count on, if its true that you are here I need you now. Please God, help me. I can no longer continue to pay for mistakes I made in my past. I can not go through life being a tortured soul. If there is something I need to be doing to make things right for myself and my children, please, show me the way. I need to be forgiven and I need to know you are here for me. I need to be forgiven. I need to be forgiven. I NEED to be forgiven.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Week Eight: Scientology!
I had wanted to do Scientology at a later date, when my investigative reporting skills are a little more practiced, however, with my move next week I am not sure if I am going to find a Scientology center in Asheville, NC. There is a huge one in Dallas so hopefully they can give me the information I need.
So, what do I know about Scientology? Well I know it was created by L Ron Hubbard and is based on his book, Dianetics, which I have not read. I know something about the teachings of Xenu and that they believe he came from the Galactic Confederacy. I know that L Ron Hubbard was a science fiction writer and that, to be honest, some of this stuff sounds a little hoaky. BUT, I had said I would go into each religion with an open mind, so I am going to try to cast off some of the negatives I have heard about Scientology and see what I can find out for myself.
And hopefully they won't sue me;-)
So, what do I know about Scientology? Well I know it was created by L Ron Hubbard and is based on his book, Dianetics, which I have not read. I know something about the teachings of Xenu and that they believe he came from the Galactic Confederacy. I know that L Ron Hubbard was a science fiction writer and that, to be honest, some of this stuff sounds a little hoaky. BUT, I had said I would go into each religion with an open mind, so I am going to try to cast off some of the negatives I have heard about Scientology and see what I can find out for myself.
And hopefully they won't sue me;-)
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Week Seven: A Baptism?
I have been thinking lately that maybe I need to look into getting baptized. To my knowledge I have never been baptized and sometimes I wonder if it has something to do with my being "cursed". I have for many years thought that I am somehow "cursed"; I was born with this face, these godawful freckles, into an unloving, neglectful family. I've had horrible luck with men and my life has been a struggle at best.
Most of my friends have enduring marriages, with husbands that take good care of them. They are happy and certainly not sitting at home wondering how much longer they will have a roof over their head. I have had a few short lived relationships and none of them ever benefited me in any way. I had always assumed that Mr Right would come along and it would be like Valley Girl or Ghost, nothing would keep us apart, even social class or death and we would be together forever traveling the world. Well, it never happened. I ended up settling for much, much less. Of course at this point I am 40 and alone. To be honest I don't mind being alone, but I do worry. What if I get sick? What if I'm in an accident? Who would take care of me? I guess this is where Christians would tell me that God would be there for me. We'll see.
I have had an extremely busy week with packing and trying to get caught up on homework. I am also going out of town tomorrow so I have been unable to do a religion this week. I will however, be doing Scientology when I get back! I had wanted to do them a little further down the line, but it doesnt appear that there is a Scientology center in Asheville, but there is one in Dallas. I am excited to be doing Scientology! This has to be one of the more interesting religions out there!
Oh, and I still have not gotten back to the Christian Science reading room to see about a healing. I will also try to fit that in next week as well.
Cheers and keep praying.
Most of my friends have enduring marriages, with husbands that take good care of them. They are happy and certainly not sitting at home wondering how much longer they will have a roof over their head. I have had a few short lived relationships and none of them ever benefited me in any way. I had always assumed that Mr Right would come along and it would be like Valley Girl or Ghost, nothing would keep us apart, even social class or death and we would be together forever traveling the world. Well, it never happened. I ended up settling for much, much less. Of course at this point I am 40 and alone. To be honest I don't mind being alone, but I do worry. What if I get sick? What if I'm in an accident? Who would take care of me? I guess this is where Christians would tell me that God would be there for me. We'll see.
I have had an extremely busy week with packing and trying to get caught up on homework. I am also going out of town tomorrow so I have been unable to do a religion this week. I will however, be doing Scientology when I get back! I had wanted to do them a little further down the line, but it doesnt appear that there is a Scientology center in Asheville, but there is one in Dallas. I am excited to be doing Scientology! This has to be one of the more interesting religions out there!
Oh, and I still have not gotten back to the Christian Science reading room to see about a healing. I will also try to fit that in next week as well.
Cheers and keep praying.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Week Six: Still Here and The Bible & Me
Well, I never got around to getting to the Luthern Church in Asheville, nor did I get around to talking to anyone about being Luthern, so I have decided to do them again at a later date. Also, I ate something on the road during the trip home that made me deathly ill, so I have decided to skip a religion this week and start again next.
Currently my head is spinning. I have decided, rather suddenly, to pack up and move almost halfway across the US. I'm not sure if I am doing the right thing or not. I do know that the past few months have taken their toll on me and if I didnt do something I was going to lose everything. Sometimes I guess you have to take chances.
My depression appears to be worse today, the stress of moving, being ill, etc are all weighing in on me. I am going to try to contact someone from the Christian Science reading room and see about getting a healing. I am intrigued and hey, it can't hurt, right?
In the meantime I think I need to take some time to focus on the bible. The truth is I dont have a huge biblical background. I am not one of those people that can quote bible verses or tell you where to find whatever scripture. I had always thought one day I would read it from cover to cover, but that has yet to happen. Anyway, I think today I will get out that giant bible my dad left me and go through it a bit. Maybe I can find some comfort and solace in it.
I am still on a desperate search for God. I kind of thought he was with me in Asheville, when I found a house so easily, a wonderful school for my daughter and actually got a few job leads. Was he telling me that that was where I needed to be? Or was it all coincidence? Still wondering and as my head continues to spin, beginning to have doubts again.
Currently my head is spinning. I have decided, rather suddenly, to pack up and move almost halfway across the US. I'm not sure if I am doing the right thing or not. I do know that the past few months have taken their toll on me and if I didnt do something I was going to lose everything. Sometimes I guess you have to take chances.
My depression appears to be worse today, the stress of moving, being ill, etc are all weighing in on me. I am going to try to contact someone from the Christian Science reading room and see about getting a healing. I am intrigued and hey, it can't hurt, right?
In the meantime I think I need to take some time to focus on the bible. The truth is I dont have a huge biblical background. I am not one of those people that can quote bible verses or tell you where to find whatever scripture. I had always thought one day I would read it from cover to cover, but that has yet to happen. Anyway, I think today I will get out that giant bible my dad left me and go through it a bit. Maybe I can find some comfort and solace in it.
I am still on a desperate search for God. I kind of thought he was with me in Asheville, when I found a house so easily, a wonderful school for my daughter and actually got a few job leads. Was he telling me that that was where I needed to be? Or was it all coincidence? Still wondering and as my head continues to spin, beginning to have doubts again.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
A Moment of Insanity and a Luthern Church
After the nonstop string of stressful events last week, in a moment of utter insanity I packed up myself and the kids (well one of them, Selina stayed behind) and drove to Asheville, NC. Why? Well I have kind of reached my proverbial breaking point in Ft. Worth. Its been more than a year since I have worked steadily, I don't have much of a social network there (more on that later) and I am sick of the 100 degree heat.
Asheville was first brought to my attention a couple of years ago. It was named "Happiest Place in America". I was instantly intrigued! A happy place? Here? In America? Aren't we all too overworked, unemployed, underpaid, uninsured, conservative/liberal to be happy???? I first came here a year and a half ago and LOVED it! I had thought about moving here, but because of fear (which seems to rule my life) I didnt do it then.
After Thursday's breaking point and my brief stint into insanity (because insanity knows no fear) I jumped in the car and headed east! I found a house yesterday!!!!! Unbelievably in a great area and even more unbelievably less than what I am paying in Ft Worth! It looks as though God (or insanity) is finally directing me, lets just hope in the right direction.
I am getting ready to go to the Luthern Church here to at least check it out. The great thing is I can continue my quest for God here in Asheville as they appear to have all the religions and some lesser known ones, just like the DFW area!
Keep the prayers coming! They just might be working!!!!
Asheville was first brought to my attention a couple of years ago. It was named "Happiest Place in America". I was instantly intrigued! A happy place? Here? In America? Aren't we all too overworked, unemployed, underpaid, uninsured, conservative/liberal to be happy???? I first came here a year and a half ago and LOVED it! I had thought about moving here, but because of fear (which seems to rule my life) I didnt do it then.
After Thursday's breaking point and my brief stint into insanity (because insanity knows no fear) I jumped in the car and headed east! I found a house yesterday!!!!! Unbelievably in a great area and even more unbelievably less than what I am paying in Ft Worth! It looks as though God (or insanity) is finally directing me, lets just hope in the right direction.
I am getting ready to go to the Luthern Church here to at least check it out. The great thing is I can continue my quest for God here in Asheville as they appear to have all the religions and some lesser known ones, just like the DFW area!
Keep the prayers coming! They just might be working!!!!
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Quest for God. A Waste of Time?
I know I am only on week five, but I am beginning to think my quest is just another waste of time. My effort to "find God" is going to be a little like trying to find Mr. Right. One of those things that happens to other people, but not to me.
I am beaten down. The past three days I have been had my electricity shut off, been inundated by bill collectors and still no job in sight. I was trying to start my own business, but I have been unsuccessful at finding anyone to help with the website. I had a meeting today with two people that I had hoped to get some advice and information from and they never showed. My body hurts, I literally feel like I have been beaten up. I have prayed to God to please give me some answers, something, and of course it all goes unanswered. I am alone, I am scared and I am losing this battle.
My faith continues to wane.
I am beaten down. The past three days I have been had my electricity shut off, been inundated by bill collectors and still no job in sight. I was trying to start my own business, but I have been unsuccessful at finding anyone to help with the website. I had a meeting today with two people that I had hoped to get some advice and information from and they never showed. My body hurts, I literally feel like I have been beaten up. I have prayed to God to please give me some answers, something, and of course it all goes unanswered. I am alone, I am scared and I am losing this battle.
My faith continues to wane.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Blind Faith?
I was thinking last night during one of my many bouts with insomnia, why is God such a mystery? Why can't He, for at least one day, come down from the Heavens, shake his cane around and say "Hey people! You better watch out! I'm here!". I think a little PR work would do Him some good. He could clarify a few things, i.e; Where's Jimmy Hoffa? Who killed Kennedy? etc. Make an appearance on Oprah. Clear up some discrepancies on various religious beliefs, update the bible (21st century edition anyone?). Of course this would scare the hell out of some, but it would certainly make things a little easier for us to understand. We could stop wars, healthcare debates, etc if God would just come down for a week or so and lay down the law.
If God is real, does faith have to be blind?
If God is real, does faith have to be blind?
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Week Five: Lutheran
I have decided to do Lutherans this week. I don't know anything about Lutherans, but I believe its very similar to Episcopalian and other Protestant religions.
I will try to find out more in the coming days. Once again I am having an incredibly difficult day and wondering where God is. My prayers for work have still gone unanswered, bills are piling up and I have a horrific headache. So much so, that I don't even feel like complaining about it. At some point we all reach our breaking point, and I think I have just about hit mine. Something has to give and soon, please, keep the prayers coming. While they haven't helped yet, they certainly can't hurt.
I will try to find out more in the coming days. Once again I am having an incredibly difficult day and wondering where God is. My prayers for work have still gone unanswered, bills are piling up and I have a horrific headache. So much so, that I don't even feel like complaining about it. At some point we all reach our breaking point, and I think I have just about hit mine. Something has to give and soon, please, keep the prayers coming. While they haven't helped yet, they certainly can't hurt.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Christian Science Update and a Healing?
I have received a few emails from Christian Scientists and I need to clarify an error I made about there service. From what I have been told I misunderstood and they don't do the same service year after year. Actually I am going to re post what Tony from England wrote me:
1. Mary Baker Eddy was a lifelong Bible student and even, occasionally, healed others through prayer before having her own significant healing. Following that healing of her own, she then immersed herself even more deeply in Bible study to understand HOW she had been healed, and this is how she describes that experience in another of her books: “This knowledge came to me in an hour of great need; and I give it to you as death-bed testimony to the daystar that dawned on the night of material sense. This knowledge is practical, for it wrought my immediate recovery from an injury caused by an accident, and pronounced fatal by the physicians. On the third day thereafter, I called for my Bible, and opened it at Matthew ix. As I read, the healing Truth dawned upon my sense; and the result was that I rose, dressed myself, and ever after was in better health than I had before enjoyed. That short experience included a glimpse of the great fact that I have since tried to make plain to others, namely, Life in and of Spirit; this Life being the sole reality of existence.” (“Miscellaneous Writings” 1883-1896, p.24)
2. The readings from the Bible and Science and Health that you heard read on the Sunday are considered a sermon – the Lesson Sermon – and, if they are well read by people enthused by the spiritual insights they have gained from studying them during the week, those readings can make for a really inspiring sermon that really touches the heart to the healing presence of divine Love. Also, the actual content is never repeated, it is only the theme that is repeated
I would like to thank those that emailed me! Its hard to learn everything about a specific religion in just a weeks time.
I have decided to go ahead and look into a healing. I am curious to find out if there is something to these healings. I have to confess that I did have a "faith" healing years ago by a Catholic Priest and it actually brought relief to my OCD. Sadly it was short lived. I am not sure how a Christian Science healing works, but I guess I will find out in the coming days.
I have been asked what it is I am looking for by doing this project. The truth is I don't really know. Its about more than just finding a church I enjoy attending. To be honest, that's not that hard to do. I guess I really want to find "God" himself, something, anything I can believe in. I want Him to come down from the Heavens and make His presence so known to me that there is no more doubt in my mind. I have lost so much faith, I don't believe in much of anything anymore. There are no ghosts, spirits, unicorns, UFOs, no lochness monsters, no big foots. Everything has been explained away. God continues to be, well, elusive it seems. While I had a few small prayers answered the other day, the big ones, the ones I NEED answered, have gone unnoticed. I am still unemployed, still afraid, still worried. Its not just me either, there are a lot of people suffering, going without, struggling to get by. Where is God in this "recession"? Why isn't He making things better? And of course that brings me around to the whole beginning, maybe He isn't doing anything because He isn't there to begin with? *sigh*
Well, the only immediate prayer I need answered right now is that I sleep tonight! Cheers.
1. Mary Baker Eddy was a lifelong Bible student and even, occasionally, healed others through prayer before having her own significant healing. Following that healing of her own, she then immersed herself even more deeply in Bible study to understand HOW she had been healed, and this is how she describes that experience in another of her books: “This knowledge came to me in an hour of great need; and I give it to you as death-bed testimony to the daystar that dawned on the night of material sense. This knowledge is practical, for it wrought my immediate recovery from an injury caused by an accident, and pronounced fatal by the physicians. On the third day thereafter, I called for my Bible, and opened it at Matthew ix. As I read, the healing Truth dawned upon my sense; and the result was that I rose, dressed myself, and ever after was in better health than I had before enjoyed. That short experience included a glimpse of the great fact that I have since tried to make plain to others, namely, Life in and of Spirit; this Life being the sole reality of existence.” (“Miscellaneous Writings” 1883-1896, p.24)
2. The readings from the Bible and Science and Health that you heard read on the Sunday are considered a sermon – the Lesson Sermon – and, if they are well read by people enthused by the spiritual insights they have gained from studying them during the week, those readings can make for a really inspiring sermon that really touches the heart to the healing presence of divine Love. Also, the actual content is never repeated, it is only the theme that is repeated
I would like to thank those that emailed me! Its hard to learn everything about a specific religion in just a weeks time.
I have decided to go ahead and look into a healing. I am curious to find out if there is something to these healings. I have to confess that I did have a "faith" healing years ago by a Catholic Priest and it actually brought relief to my OCD. Sadly it was short lived. I am not sure how a Christian Science healing works, but I guess I will find out in the coming days.
I have been asked what it is I am looking for by doing this project. The truth is I don't really know. Its about more than just finding a church I enjoy attending. To be honest, that's not that hard to do. I guess I really want to find "God" himself, something, anything I can believe in. I want Him to come down from the Heavens and make His presence so known to me that there is no more doubt in my mind. I have lost so much faith, I don't believe in much of anything anymore. There are no ghosts, spirits, unicorns, UFOs, no lochness monsters, no big foots. Everything has been explained away. God continues to be, well, elusive it seems. While I had a few small prayers answered the other day, the big ones, the ones I NEED answered, have gone unnoticed. I am still unemployed, still afraid, still worried. Its not just me either, there are a lot of people suffering, going without, struggling to get by. Where is God in this "recession"? Why isn't He making things better? And of course that brings me around to the whole beginning, maybe He isn't doing anything because He isn't there to begin with? *sigh*
Well, the only immediate prayer I need answered right now is that I sleep tonight! Cheers.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Christian Science, Time Warp?
I was saddened to hear that the Christian Science church near my home had its last service last week. Apparently this was due to declining membership. I was able to attend another CS church not far from me, to be honest, now I think I understand why the first church may have not been able to sustain members.
This is not a progressive religion by any means of the word. Being there was almost like going back in time. The service relies solely on readings from the bible and Science and Health. They don't have ministers or preachers, they have what they call "readers". Readers are voted in by other church members and have to commit to three years of reading. They literally stand at the front of church and read the passages. There is no sermon of any kind. They are reading, from what I understand, the exact same thing that was read last year and the year before on this same day.
The church itself was beautiful, more like a chapel than anything else. There werent a lot of people there and not many young people at all. I think this is largely due to there failure to be progressive or offer anything really other that bible and Science and Health readings. I think see how anyone can relate to or embrace this type of church service. I found the whole thing to be terribly, well boring. It was certainly a learning experience though, I am so glad to have experienced a Christian Science service. However, I guess I can safely say I am not a Christian Scientist.
This is not a progressive religion by any means of the word. Being there was almost like going back in time. The service relies solely on readings from the bible and Science and Health. They don't have ministers or preachers, they have what they call "readers". Readers are voted in by other church members and have to commit to three years of reading. They literally stand at the front of church and read the passages. There is no sermon of any kind. They are reading, from what I understand, the exact same thing that was read last year and the year before on this same day.
The church itself was beautiful, more like a chapel than anything else. There werent a lot of people there and not many young people at all. I think this is largely due to there failure to be progressive or offer anything really other that bible and Science and Health readings. I think see how anyone can relate to or embrace this type of church service. I found the whole thing to be terribly, well boring. It was certainly a learning experience though, I am so glad to have experienced a Christian Science service. However, I guess I can safely say I am not a Christian Scientist.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Christian Science, God's Healthcare Plan?
Yesterday I went to the Christian Science reading room to learn more about the religion of Christian Science. I have to say it was fascinating! Like I have mentioned I really didn't know much of anything about Christian Science and didn't really know anyone who was a Christian Scientist. The Christian Science reading room is a source for anyone that is Christian Scientist or wants to learn more about it and it is their only means of outreach. The reading room is literally just that, a reading room. They have a lot of CS literature, archived editions of the Christian Science Monitor, bibles and much more.
First the Christian Scientists don't shun medical care, that's a common misconception, they are a religion of choice. What they do is encourage and practice spiritual healing. Everyone in the religion goes to a class taught by a CS teacher to learn how to heal. The two women that run the reading room, Betty and Linda were more than willing to answer any of my questions. Betty, who I would guess to be around 80 (I didn't want to be rude and ask her age) proclaimed that she has never so much as taken an aspirin!!! Never had medical care of any kind, yet she appeared to be in great health and very lucid for her age. The other woman Linda, said she had been ill when her neighbor introduced her to CS years ago. She was healed through the CS teachings and was somehow able to forgo a surgery she was going to have.
Mary Baker Eddy started Christian Science in the 1800's. She had become ill as a young woman and was able to heal herself after reading one of the Psalms (neither women could remember which one). She didn't understand why, so she started studying the bible. She went on years later to open a college which eventually evolved into the religion of Christian Science. Eventually she wrote Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, writings that are still revered and refered to today.
The women told me that you don't have to be a CS to be healed and that they believe they can heal anything. They did not go into detail about what a healing consists of, they just explained that you ask God what it is you need and he answers. They said God can cure anything, from catastrophic illness to mental conditions and anything else. I am extremely curious about this. I have an OCD I have struggled with for years (don't want to go into details, that's a whole other blog), it seems to worsen when I am under a lot of stress. I am going to talk to someone about doing a healing on me tomorrow when I attend their services. Maybe there is something to this?
Betty and Linda also informed me that CS don't do baptisms or take communion, although they do have a Sacrament Sunday.I bought a copy of Mary Baker Eddy's Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures and they gave me several copies of the Christian Science Monitor which I plan to read through today.
This was really an interesting meeting for me. With all the talk about health care (or lack of) in the US, maybe all we really need is God? Apparently Jesus wanted everyone to have health care! Well, hopefully I will find out tomorrow when I ask for a healing!
You can read more about Mary Baker Eddy here; http://marybakereddy.wwwhubs.com/
First the Christian Scientists don't shun medical care, that's a common misconception, they are a religion of choice. What they do is encourage and practice spiritual healing. Everyone in the religion goes to a class taught by a CS teacher to learn how to heal. The two women that run the reading room, Betty and Linda were more than willing to answer any of my questions. Betty, who I would guess to be around 80 (I didn't want to be rude and ask her age) proclaimed that she has never so much as taken an aspirin!!! Never had medical care of any kind, yet she appeared to be in great health and very lucid for her age. The other woman Linda, said she had been ill when her neighbor introduced her to CS years ago. She was healed through the CS teachings and was somehow able to forgo a surgery she was going to have.
Mary Baker Eddy started Christian Science in the 1800's. She had become ill as a young woman and was able to heal herself after reading one of the Psalms (neither women could remember which one). She didn't understand why, so she started studying the bible. She went on years later to open a college which eventually evolved into the religion of Christian Science. Eventually she wrote Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, writings that are still revered and refered to today.
The women told me that you don't have to be a CS to be healed and that they believe they can heal anything. They did not go into detail about what a healing consists of, they just explained that you ask God what it is you need and he answers. They said God can cure anything, from catastrophic illness to mental conditions and anything else. I am extremely curious about this. I have an OCD I have struggled with for years (don't want to go into details, that's a whole other blog), it seems to worsen when I am under a lot of stress. I am going to talk to someone about doing a healing on me tomorrow when I attend their services. Maybe there is something to this?
Betty and Linda also informed me that CS don't do baptisms or take communion, although they do have a Sacrament Sunday.I bought a copy of Mary Baker Eddy's Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures and they gave me several copies of the Christian Science Monitor which I plan to read through today.
This was really an interesting meeting for me. With all the talk about health care (or lack of) in the US, maybe all we really need is God? Apparently Jesus wanted everyone to have health care! Well, hopefully I will find out tomorrow when I ask for a healing!
You can read more about Mary Baker Eddy here; http://marybakereddy.wwwhubs.com/
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
OH MY GOD!!!! Maybe, Just MAYBE, God Listens!!!
So, I have bitched and bitched lately about how God completely ignores me, that my prayers go largely unanswered and that somehow I must be cursed. Well maybe, just maybe, I was wrong!
There are a few things I am in need of, not the big things (like a job, money, etc) just a few simple things I need and would like to have. First and foremost by beloved cat Beatle has been missing for a week now. He disappeared during the thunderstorm last week. I have searched the neighborhood repeatedly, put an ad on craigslist and still nothing. I had written him off as dead, there are a lot of predators in this neighborhood and I though surely for him to be gone this long something must have gotten him.
Secondly, I start my second semester of online college courses next week and I am desperately in need of a printer (as mine was stolen) and a laptop. Its much easier for me to keep up with assignments if I can print reading materials out. A laptop would make it easier to and more convenient to be able to do school work. I have a lot of distractions at home and to be honest, sometimes I just get sick of being home.
Just a little earlier I took the car I am trying to sell to my friends boyfriends car lot. The person that may be interested in buying it wasn't there so we left my car there and he drove me home. On the way I mentioned my house being robbed and how they got my printer and that I was definitely going to need a new one. He told me not to buy one, that they had two extra!
After I arrived home I went into the kitchen to find something to eat. I suddenly heard meowing at the front door. I assumed it was Itsy Boo (my obese calico) but as I turned to go to the door, I thought, wouldn't it be something if it was Beatle. To my utter shock and surprise, IT WAS!!!! Just like that!!!! Theres my sweet kitty that I had already assumed I would never see again!!!! I literally got chills over my entire body!!!
Now, is this God, finally attempting to make contact????? Is He trying to tell me something???? Or was it a mere coincidence that the day I pray for something, two out of the three things come to fruition?
If I have a laptop by the end of the day I will literally pass out.
There are a few things I am in need of, not the big things (like a job, money, etc) just a few simple things I need and would like to have. First and foremost by beloved cat Beatle has been missing for a week now. He disappeared during the thunderstorm last week. I have searched the neighborhood repeatedly, put an ad on craigslist and still nothing. I had written him off as dead, there are a lot of predators in this neighborhood and I though surely for him to be gone this long something must have gotten him.
Secondly, I start my second semester of online college courses next week and I am desperately in need of a printer (as mine was stolen) and a laptop. Its much easier for me to keep up with assignments if I can print reading materials out. A laptop would make it easier to and more convenient to be able to do school work. I have a lot of distractions at home and to be honest, sometimes I just get sick of being home.
Just a little earlier I took the car I am trying to sell to my friends boyfriends car lot. The person that may be interested in buying it wasn't there so we left my car there and he drove me home. On the way I mentioned my house being robbed and how they got my printer and that I was definitely going to need a new one. He told me not to buy one, that they had two extra!
After I arrived home I went into the kitchen to find something to eat. I suddenly heard meowing at the front door. I assumed it was Itsy Boo (my obese calico) but as I turned to go to the door, I thought, wouldn't it be something if it was Beatle. To my utter shock and surprise, IT WAS!!!! Just like that!!!! Theres my sweet kitty that I had already assumed I would never see again!!!! I literally got chills over my entire body!!!
Now, is this God, finally attempting to make contact????? Is He trying to tell me something???? Or was it a mere coincidence that the day I pray for something, two out of the three things come to fruition?
If I have a laptop by the end of the day I will literally pass out.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Week Four: Christian Science
I'm not sure if my investigative reporting skills are are quite up to par enough to delve into Christian Science yet, but I am terribly interested in learning more about this religion so I am going to do it anyway. This is one of those religions that really peaks my interest but I don't really know too much about it.
What do I know about Christian Science, well first it is NOT to be confused with Scientology, they are not linked in any way (I will be delving into Scientology a little further down the road, waiting for Tom Cruise to give me a call). I know that the name Mary Baker Eddy and Christian Science are synonymous. I know they I also happen to know that Marilyn Monroe was a Christian Scientist. I know that Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures was written by Mary Baker Eddy and I believe still in print and referred to by Christian Scientists today.
What are some of the things I have heard about Christian Scientists? Well from what I hear they do not believe in medical science or seeing doctors. This is something I will have to ask someone. I am particularly intrigued in doing this religion because of all the talk about health care (or lack of) in the US that is going on right now. This will be an interesting prospective to get.
Well, I will be getting in touch with the Christian Science church here today! Hopefully they will be able to meet with me and answer some of the many questions I have about their church!
What do I know about Christian Science, well first it is NOT to be confused with Scientology, they are not linked in any way (I will be delving into Scientology a little further down the road, waiting for Tom Cruise to give me a call). I know that the name Mary Baker Eddy and Christian Science are synonymous. I know they I also happen to know that Marilyn Monroe was a Christian Scientist. I know that Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures was written by Mary Baker Eddy and I believe still in print and referred to by Christian Scientists today.
What are some of the things I have heard about Christian Scientists? Well from what I hear they do not believe in medical science or seeing doctors. This is something I will have to ask someone. I am particularly intrigued in doing this religion because of all the talk about health care (or lack of) in the US that is going on right now. This will be an interesting prospective to get.
Well, I will be getting in touch with the Christian Science church here today! Hopefully they will be able to meet with me and answer some of the many questions I have about their church!
Monday, August 31, 2009
Presbyterians Are Awesome!
I made it to the Presbyterian church service Sunday! This church was the biggest and most beautiful I have attended thus far. The inside was just enormous and ornate, there was a huge organ above the doors in the back of the church. The music was loud and very churchy, a bit eerie but very nice at the same time. The massiveness of the church, I have to admit , gave it a kind of cold feeling, but there was all the pomp and circumstance that I am used to given my Catholic background. They did not do communion at this service but from what I understand they do communion at the 8:30 service every Sunday (AND they use REAL WINE AND REAL BREAD!)
Despite the coldness of the actual church the people were VERY FRIENDLY! I told a few of the women that sat next to me about my little project and they seemed interested. As I was leaving I just happen to run into the education director that I had been trying to reach all week. She had not received my message until that morning but when I told her my name she knew exactly who I was. She was so kind as to take a few minutes of her time and answer some of my questions.
Some of the information she gave me is that Presbyterian believe in one baptism at one time. They ordain women into the ministry and ministers are allowed to marry. She also informed me that they believe that each person is called to God before birth. I was subsequently invited to attend their Sunday morning classes, which I may do at some point. I have to say this church experience has been the best I have had thus far! If you were to ask me which church I would definitely return to, this is the one.
I am still struggling with my faith issues though. The enormous amount of stress I have been dealing with doesn't seem to wane. I keep wondering why God cant give me a break! Or if nothing else put me in the right direction. Every day that goes by and I'm still not working and nothing else seems to be happening I lose a little more faith. But then again, should things suddenly change for the better, do I then suddenly believe again? I don't want to be one of these hypocrites that blames God when things are bad and then suddenly when things improve its all "thanks to God". If I do find my faith, I really would like to find it before something wonderful happens, this is providing that something wonderful does happen. Who knows, my life might continue to be a constant shit fest! *sigh*
Ok, dear readers (if I have any!) this week I am doing Christian Science!
Despite the coldness of the actual church the people were VERY FRIENDLY! I told a few of the women that sat next to me about my little project and they seemed interested. As I was leaving I just happen to run into the education director that I had been trying to reach all week. She had not received my message until that morning but when I told her my name she knew exactly who I was. She was so kind as to take a few minutes of her time and answer some of my questions.
Some of the information she gave me is that Presbyterian believe in one baptism at one time. They ordain women into the ministry and ministers are allowed to marry. She also informed me that they believe that each person is called to God before birth. I was subsequently invited to attend their Sunday morning classes, which I may do at some point. I have to say this church experience has been the best I have had thus far! If you were to ask me which church I would definitely return to, this is the one.
I am still struggling with my faith issues though. The enormous amount of stress I have been dealing with doesn't seem to wane. I keep wondering why God cant give me a break! Or if nothing else put me in the right direction. Every day that goes by and I'm still not working and nothing else seems to be happening I lose a little more faith. But then again, should things suddenly change for the better, do I then suddenly believe again? I don't want to be one of these hypocrites that blames God when things are bad and then suddenly when things improve its all "thanks to God". If I do find my faith, I really would like to find it before something wonderful happens, this is providing that something wonderful does happen. Who knows, my life might continue to be a constant shit fest! *sigh*
Ok, dear readers (if I have any!) this week I am doing Christian Science!
Friday, August 28, 2009
Presbyterians Don't Call Back
Well, I have to say I am a little disappointed, I have tried repeatedly to get in touch with someone at St. Stephens Presbyterian Church and as of today, no one has called me back. I guess I could have called another presbyterian church, but time constraints, job interviews (or the lack of) and the usual nonstop nonsense of life, prevented me from doing so.
I will go ahead and go Sunday to the church service, maybe I can find someone there to tell me a little bit more about Presbyterians. Also, I must remember to keep petty cash on me for the donation plates. The last two churches I completely forgot to do so and felt a little bit like an ass for not having anything to donate. I so wish they would get credit card swipers on those things, it would certainly make church donations much easier for those of us that prefer not to carry cash on us.
I am trying to decide what religion to hit next week. I think I would like to go ahead and do something a little more avant garde and do Chrisitian Science. They have a Christian Science church here, lets just hope someone calls me back!!!
I will go ahead and go Sunday to the church service, maybe I can find someone there to tell me a little bit more about Presbyterians. Also, I must remember to keep petty cash on me for the donation plates. The last two churches I completely forgot to do so and felt a little bit like an ass for not having anything to donate. I so wish they would get credit card swipers on those things, it would certainly make church donations much easier for those of us that prefer not to carry cash on us.
I am trying to decide what religion to hit next week. I think I would like to go ahead and do something a little more avant garde and do Chrisitian Science. They have a Christian Science church here, lets just hope someone calls me back!!!
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Week Three: Presbytarian!
So this week I am focusing on the Presbyterians. What do I know about Presbyterians? Well, not a whole lot. I think it might be something like the Episcopalians that I visited a few weeks back. Today I will call and make an appointment with the head of a beautiful Presbyterian church here. I have wanted to see the inside of this church for years, its in a wonderful Ft Worth neighborhood and happens to be huge! There must be plenty of Presbyterians in Ft Worth, but I don't think I know any!
From the little bit of reading I have done on Presbyterians, the church evolved in Scotland in the 18Th century. It is part of the Protestant branch of Christianity, which is a little confusing because I had thought that Protestant was its own religion. I guess I do have a lot to learn!
I am looking forward to talking to the head of this particular church so he can give me more insight into the Presbyterian religion. Who knows, maybe I'm Presbyterian?
From the little bit of reading I have done on Presbyterians, the church evolved in Scotland in the 18Th century. It is part of the Protestant branch of Christianity, which is a little confusing because I had thought that Protestant was its own religion. I guess I do have a lot to learn!
I am looking forward to talking to the head of this particular church so he can give me more insight into the Presbyterian religion. Who knows, maybe I'm Presbyterian?
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Baptists Are Nice!!!
So I attended the Baptist church today and was impressed with how nice everyone was! An elderly lady next to me asked how I was doing and welcomed me. I told her about my little project and she seemed interested! I have decided to go ahead be upfront as to why I am there, hopefully it will generate some interest in my blog.
The service itself was different than I am used to. I have been to Baptist churches before but its been a long time. The church was not as ornate as the Catholic churches I generally attend. They have a pastor rather than a priest and of course he was wearing a suit rather than robes. There was no aisle procession or anything of that nature. None of the pomp and circumstance that I have seen in other churches. I have to admit I do like some of the formalities of some of the other religions, there was none of that in this Baptist church. There was no kneelers, they do not sit, kneel, stand, kneel like some of the other religions.
They did do communion, which I was not aware that Baptists did communion every Sunday. But they bring it to you in a large plate. Stupid me took the host and ate it immediately! Thats how the Catholics do it! Anyway, they apparently wait until everyone has their host and then eat it. Then they passed out tiny little cups of grape juice, of course I would rather have wine! But it was a nice experience.
The sermon itself was longer than I am used to. The whole service was about an hour and twenty minutes. The pastor talked a bit about praying correctly. Now I'm wondering if the reasons my prayers haven't been answered is because I have never prayed correctly. I didnt realize there was a way to pray correctly, generally I just "talk" to God. I guess I still have a lot to learn.
Well, I really feel like I have dropped the ball with Baptists. I should have gotten in touch with the pastor and had him answer some questions for me. This is a learning process though, I guess I'm learning as I go. But to be honest I dont get the feeling that I'm Baptist.
Next week, the Presbyterians!!!!! I will get in touch with that churches leader and have set of questions for him! Excited about this one, I dont know anything about Presbytarians! Once again, I have picked a big beautiful church to attend. This week, I won't drop the ball!
The service itself was different than I am used to. I have been to Baptist churches before but its been a long time. The church was not as ornate as the Catholic churches I generally attend. They have a pastor rather than a priest and of course he was wearing a suit rather than robes. There was no aisle procession or anything of that nature. None of the pomp and circumstance that I have seen in other churches. I have to admit I do like some of the formalities of some of the other religions, there was none of that in this Baptist church. There was no kneelers, they do not sit, kneel, stand, kneel like some of the other religions.
They did do communion, which I was not aware that Baptists did communion every Sunday. But they bring it to you in a large plate. Stupid me took the host and ate it immediately! Thats how the Catholics do it! Anyway, they apparently wait until everyone has their host and then eat it. Then they passed out tiny little cups of grape juice, of course I would rather have wine! But it was a nice experience.
The sermon itself was longer than I am used to. The whole service was about an hour and twenty minutes. The pastor talked a bit about praying correctly. Now I'm wondering if the reasons my prayers haven't been answered is because I have never prayed correctly. I didnt realize there was a way to pray correctly, generally I just "talk" to God. I guess I still have a lot to learn.
Well, I really feel like I have dropped the ball with Baptists. I should have gotten in touch with the pastor and had him answer some questions for me. This is a learning process though, I guess I'm learning as I go. But to be honest I dont get the feeling that I'm Baptist.
Next week, the Presbyterians!!!!! I will get in touch with that churches leader and have set of questions for him! Excited about this one, I dont know anything about Presbytarians! Once again, I have picked a big beautiful church to attend. This week, I won't drop the ball!
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Weel Two: Baptist Week
Dear readers, I guess I have to admit I havent been overly anxious about Baptist week. Please no hate mail Baptists, but the truth is I think of Baptist as a rather boring religion! Sorry to say, Baptists are fine people, I have been to Baptist Churches many times and even have some Baptists in my own family. My dad was actually attended a Baptist church for a while years ago. But yeah, its not one of the religions that really peaks my interests.
I did not get in touch with the person in charge at the baptist church I will be attending tomorrow. This is partly, well mostly, my fault, I have had a rather stressful and busy week. On top of job hunting I had several other incidents to deal with which ate up a lot of my time.
So, what do I know about Baptists? Well, I know they don't like dancing! I know they are a Christian religion and I believe part of what is considered "evangelical". I will be attending the Baptist church tomorrow and will find someone there to answer more of my questions!
As I mentioned before I wish I had more time and money to put into this project!
I did not get in touch with the person in charge at the baptist church I will be attending tomorrow. This is partly, well mostly, my fault, I have had a rather stressful and busy week. On top of job hunting I had several other incidents to deal with which ate up a lot of my time.
So, what do I know about Baptists? Well, I know they don't like dancing! I know they are a Christian religion and I believe part of what is considered "evangelical". I will be attending the Baptist church tomorrow and will find someone there to answer more of my questions!
As I mentioned before I wish I had more time and money to put into this project!
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
The Episcopal Ceremony
First I must say the Episcopal church here was quite beautiful. I have wanted to go in to this particular church for quite some time. The service itself was nice, similar to the catholic services I am used to. The prayers were different, I couldnt say them verbatim like I can at the catholic churches I have been to.
I am finding that I am not nervous about going to the different services, I guess since I am there doing "research" rather than an outsider that somehow makes it easier.
They had a woman doing part of the service. I am not sure if she was an ordained priest or what, but I always enjoy seeing women having a more active role in the churches.
I really wish I had more time to go into the history of each and every religion and church I attend. I guess all that will come out in the book edition!
I have had a very stressful week, my inability to find suitable employment has me spiraled into a rather deep depression. I am trying to break out of it, but its making doing anything these days difficult. I will hopefully have a much better grip on things soon and be able to focus more, much needed attention to this project.
Well, tomorrow, The Baptists!
I am finding that I am not nervous about going to the different services, I guess since I am there doing "research" rather than an outsider that somehow makes it easier.
They had a woman doing part of the service. I am not sure if she was an ordained priest or what, but I always enjoy seeing women having a more active role in the churches.
I really wish I had more time to go into the history of each and every religion and church I attend. I guess all that will come out in the book edition!
I have had a very stressful week, my inability to find suitable employment has me spiraled into a rather deep depression. I am trying to break out of it, but its making doing anything these days difficult. I will hopefully have a much better grip on things soon and be able to focus more, much needed attention to this project.
Well, tomorrow, The Baptists!
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Sin is a Big Deal
I have been thinking more about what the Episcopal priest told me the other day about how thousands of years ago people offered up sacrifices in order to be absolved of sin. It got me to thinking, how big a deal is it to sin?
Of course we all know of the seven deadly sins. " Lust", "Gluttony", "Greed", "Sloth", "Wrath", "Envy", and "Pride". Of course the ten commandments are another list of sins we have to follow. What actually constitutes sin though? I was recently discussing faith and religion with a friend and she told me she often asks for forgiveness for cussing. I found interesting because I never think of cussing as a big deal. I guess I just worry more about the big ones, no murder, no stealing, etc. Is cussing a sin? Am I going to hell for saying the F word?
I know different religions have different beliefs, for instance the Jehovah's Witnesses don't believe in celebrating birthdays. But if you do happen to be JW and decide to celebrate a birthday, is that considered sinning in their eyes? Many conservatist Baptist oppose dancing, does this mean ballerina's are instruments of the devil?
Do I need to make a bigger deal out of the sins I do commit? Am I not doing enough in the eyes of God? Is this way things have been difficult for me? Am I not doing all I should be?
I was listening to a Christian radio station here yesterday. I do listen to it from time to time although most of the time it gets my blood pumping when they start talking adversely about things like homosexuality. Anyway, a mother was on. Her four year old daughter had passed away recently from cancer and the mother was wondering what she had done wrong. She had prayed and believed that God would heal her daughter. She said some people in her church (she failed to say what religion she was) said her daughter may have died for the mothers sins. This infuriated me! What kind of God would kill a child because of the parents sins? Are there people out there that really think this way? Or does God punish sinners in this way?
And this takes me back to my original thoughts. Did the child die because it was God's will or did the child die simply because cancer happens.
So many questions. I am really looking forward to tomorrows church services at the Episcopal church.
Of course we all know of the seven deadly sins. " Lust", "Gluttony", "Greed", "Sloth", "Wrath", "Envy", and "Pride". Of course the ten commandments are another list of sins we have to follow. What actually constitutes sin though? I was recently discussing faith and religion with a friend and she told me she often asks for forgiveness for cussing. I found interesting because I never think of cussing as a big deal. I guess I just worry more about the big ones, no murder, no stealing, etc. Is cussing a sin? Am I going to hell for saying the F word?
I know different religions have different beliefs, for instance the Jehovah's Witnesses don't believe in celebrating birthdays. But if you do happen to be JW and decide to celebrate a birthday, is that considered sinning in their eyes? Many conservatist Baptist oppose dancing, does this mean ballerina's are instruments of the devil?
Do I need to make a bigger deal out of the sins I do commit? Am I not doing enough in the eyes of God? Is this way things have been difficult for me? Am I not doing all I should be?
I was listening to a Christian radio station here yesterday. I do listen to it from time to time although most of the time it gets my blood pumping when they start talking adversely about things like homosexuality. Anyway, a mother was on. Her four year old daughter had passed away recently from cancer and the mother was wondering what she had done wrong. She had prayed and believed that God would heal her daughter. She said some people in her church (she failed to say what religion she was) said her daughter may have died for the mothers sins. This infuriated me! What kind of God would kill a child because of the parents sins? Are there people out there that really think this way? Or does God punish sinners in this way?
And this takes me back to my original thoughts. Did the child die because it was God's will or did the child die simply because cancer happens.
So many questions. I am really looking forward to tomorrows church services at the Episcopal church.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Wow! So Enlightening!
I just got off the phone with a Father Barnes (names have been changed to protect the innocent!) from the Epicopal Church here I so wish I could have spoken to him in person and I may at some point, but he gave me so much information about not only the Episcopal Religion but others as well.
Well of course the first thing he told me was the three main religions are Christianity, Islam and Buddism. Of course I knew this...ok, ok, I didnt, or didnt realize it anyway. He went on to explain that the Episcopals have priests, nuns, and are somewhat affiliated with the Vatican. Their priests are however, allowed to marry. It seems as though the Episcopal religion is a little more "liberal" (dare I use that word???) than the Catholics.
He explained that several religions aren't really Christian including the Quakers and the Mormons, which I did not know either. I think I am going to have to do some more research on that as I have always heard differently.He also informed me a little about the mechanics of Salvation and what you have to do to acheive that. The jewish roots that we come from believed that you had to sacrifice something, a lamb, a goat, etc to achieve salvation from sin. Of course once Christ died on the cross the Christians came to believe that Jesus did that for us and we no longer have to have sacrifices.
I am excited about attending the services this Sunday! UGH! I NEED a notebook and a voice recorder right away! Its hard to remember everything that I am told over the phone! Ok, I told you this was going to be a learning process!!
Well of course the first thing he told me was the three main religions are Christianity, Islam and Buddism. Of course I knew this...ok, ok, I didnt, or didnt realize it anyway. He went on to explain that the Episcopals have priests, nuns, and are somewhat affiliated with the Vatican. Their priests are however, allowed to marry. It seems as though the Episcopal religion is a little more "liberal" (dare I use that word???) than the Catholics.
He explained that several religions aren't really Christian including the Quakers and the Mormons, which I did not know either. I think I am going to have to do some more research on that as I have always heard differently.He also informed me a little about the mechanics of Salvation and what you have to do to acheive that. The jewish roots that we come from believed that you had to sacrifice something, a lamb, a goat, etc to achieve salvation from sin. Of course once Christ died on the cross the Christians came to believe that Jesus did that for us and we no longer have to have sacrifices.
I am excited about attending the services this Sunday! UGH! I NEED a notebook and a voice recorder right away! Its hard to remember everything that I am told over the phone! Ok, I told you this was going to be a learning process!!
Monday, August 10, 2009
Week One: The Episcopals
I am starting my project with The Episcopalians. Why you ask? Well mainly because there is a beautiful Episcopal church just down the road from me. Yes, I am shallow like that. I really don't know much about the Episcopalian religion. I'm sure I have encountered plenty of the Episcopalians in my time, but I can't think of any off hand and can't think of anything they may have told me about their religion.
From what I have read the Episcopal Church is somewhere between Catholicism and Protestant. I know tons about Catholicism, not so much about Prostestant, although someone did tell me once I should be Protestant. I took that to mean that the Protestants must be outstanding! I guess I will find I get around to checking out the Protestant church here.
Today, I will read up on the Episcopal Church and then try to make an appt with whomever is in charge of the church down the street with me to see if they can answer my questions and give me some information on what their church is all about.
I am very excited about doing this project. I have a few reasons for wanting to do this. As I have already stated I am unemployed. Apparently the odds of getting hit by lightening are greater than finding a job these days. This little project will keep me busy and keep me from becoming too depressed. Which it seems depression and joblessness tend to go hand in hand. The other reason I am doing this is because I have lost a lot of faith over the past year. It all started after my father died. It wasnt because he died, because I get that, he was sick and had been sick and it was his time. No, the reason my faith waned is because I had asked him to send me a specific sign. I did so about a week or so before he passed, I am sure he heard me and understood. As of today, a year and a half later, I have not received this sign. I was sure I would. I started to think of things to appear just as they seemed, and suddenly everything made sense. Kids don't get cancer because God wills it, it just happens. Cancer happens and kids happen to get it. There's no one up there pulling the strings, things just happen. Bad things don't just happen to good people, bad things just happen. Again, everything is just random, no rhyme or reason, just random. This revelation went against everything I have always believed in. I believed in prayer and God and an all seeing, all knowing entity, but I guess I don't anymore.
Mainly I am doing this because I need answers.
From what I have read the Episcopal Church is somewhere between Catholicism and Protestant. I know tons about Catholicism, not so much about Prostestant, although someone did tell me once I should be Protestant. I took that to mean that the Protestants must be outstanding! I guess I will find I get around to checking out the Protestant church here.
Today, I will read up on the Episcopal Church and then try to make an appt with whomever is in charge of the church down the street with me to see if they can answer my questions and give me some information on what their church is all about.
I am very excited about doing this project. I have a few reasons for wanting to do this. As I have already stated I am unemployed. Apparently the odds of getting hit by lightening are greater than finding a job these days. This little project will keep me busy and keep me from becoming too depressed. Which it seems depression and joblessness tend to go hand in hand. The other reason I am doing this is because I have lost a lot of faith over the past year. It all started after my father died. It wasnt because he died, because I get that, he was sick and had been sick and it was his time. No, the reason my faith waned is because I had asked him to send me a specific sign. I did so about a week or so before he passed, I am sure he heard me and understood. As of today, a year and a half later, I have not received this sign. I was sure I would. I started to think of things to appear just as they seemed, and suddenly everything made sense. Kids don't get cancer because God wills it, it just happens. Cancer happens and kids happen to get it. There's no one up there pulling the strings, things just happen. Bad things don't just happen to good people, bad things just happen. Again, everything is just random, no rhyme or reason, just random. This revelation went against everything I have always believed in. I believed in prayer and God and an all seeing, all knowing entity, but I guess I don't anymore.
Mainly I am doing this because I need answers.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Questions
Dear Readers (if I have any), I need to come up with a list of questions to ask the priests, ministers, rabbis and others that I talk with. I will edit this as I think of one. If anyone else out there can think of a question I can ask, please, feel free to put it in the comments box. Thanks.
1)What are the core beliefs of your religion?
2) Do you believe in heaven, hell or an afterlife?
3) Do you believe God is an all knowing, all seeing prescence (I feel like I could reword this better, suggestions welcomed)
More to come...
1)What are the core beliefs of your religion?
2) Do you believe in heaven, hell or an afterlife?
3) Do you believe God is an all knowing, all seeing prescence (I feel like I could reword this better, suggestions welcomed)
More to come...
The Quest
The Quest: Find a religion, one that I can identify with, relate to, and appreciate.
The Person: Thea, a 39 year old single mom living in Fort Worth, Texas, that is for the most part religuless. Ok, thats not a word, I am without a religion.
The challenge, if you want to call it that, consists of me going to area churches and finding a religion. I guess this is going to be a little more difficult than I originally planned as there are hundreds of religions.
Baptist
Catholic
Methodist
Seventh Day Adventist
Episcopal
Church of Christ
Judaism
Mormon
and on and on and on.
Well, a little about me. I am currently and have been for most of my life without a basic religion. My parents did not attend church regularly, so for most of my life I have not either. I, having grown up in Memphis Tn, went to Catholic School, because if you are school aged and living in Memphis Tn, going to public school IS NOT AN OPTION. So for many years I identified only with catholicism. Actually I tried to be baptized Catholic in my early thirties and was "kicked out" of catechism classes. Apparently I ask too many questions, or questions that they couldnt answer. Needless to say that was the end of Catholicism for me. More on that later.
Why am I doing this. Well for a variety of reason. One, I am unemployed, been unemployed for a while. I need something, besides job searching and mini nervous breakdowns, to keep me occupied. Two, over the past year or so, I have really begun to question the existance of God. I guess you could say I am a borderline atheist. I would rather believe than not believe, so I am on a quest for some answers. I would also like to learn a little more about the different religions. I know the basics and of course the things you hear on TV, like pentacostals kissing snakes, and Scientologists worshipping aliens. But do they really? These will be some interesting questions to have answered.
So to start this little project, I need to start thinking of a list of questions to ask the various religious leaders. This will start the project going, my first church attendance will be next Sunday. I guess I need to decide who to hit first. The Episcopals maybe?
The Person: Thea, a 39 year old single mom living in Fort Worth, Texas, that is for the most part religuless. Ok, thats not a word, I am without a religion.
The challenge, if you want to call it that, consists of me going to area churches and finding a religion. I guess this is going to be a little more difficult than I originally planned as there are hundreds of religions.
Baptist
Catholic
Methodist
Seventh Day Adventist
Episcopal
Church of Christ
Judaism
Mormon
and on and on and on.
Well, a little about me. I am currently and have been for most of my life without a basic religion. My parents did not attend church regularly, so for most of my life I have not either. I, having grown up in Memphis Tn, went to Catholic School, because if you are school aged and living in Memphis Tn, going to public school IS NOT AN OPTION. So for many years I identified only with catholicism. Actually I tried to be baptized Catholic in my early thirties and was "kicked out" of catechism classes. Apparently I ask too many questions, or questions that they couldnt answer. Needless to say that was the end of Catholicism for me. More on that later.
Why am I doing this. Well for a variety of reason. One, I am unemployed, been unemployed for a while. I need something, besides job searching and mini nervous breakdowns, to keep me occupied. Two, over the past year or so, I have really begun to question the existance of God. I guess you could say I am a borderline atheist. I would rather believe than not believe, so I am on a quest for some answers. I would also like to learn a little more about the different religions. I know the basics and of course the things you hear on TV, like pentacostals kissing snakes, and Scientologists worshipping aliens. But do they really? These will be some interesting questions to have answered.
So to start this little project, I need to start thinking of a list of questions to ask the various religious leaders. This will start the project going, my first church attendance will be next Sunday. I guess I need to decide who to hit first. The Episcopals maybe?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)