tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54181776216086796912024-02-08T07:37:56.617-08:00One Womans Quest for GodIn an effort to learn and understand more about religions (and possibly find one for myself), I am spending a week learning a little about each religion that I can find in the area and then attend that churches religious ceremonies on Sunday (or Saturday given the religion). I will be going to all the Christian churches, and at some point will venture into Judiasm, Buddhism, Hinduism and many others.Theahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01206404058397865111noreply@blogger.comBlogger40125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418177621608679691.post-89159974592801099112011-04-10T05:27:00.000-07:002011-04-10T05:31:20.454-07:00Where I've Been~Good Cause!Well I have been absent for quite some time. I am in school full time now and of course my studies have made it difficult to find time for my blog. As soon as I am able, I will get back to it. I have learned so much through doing this and made some wonderful friends! <br /><br />School is expensive and as a single mother money is TIGHT. There is a donate button on my page if anyone would like to add to my cause! You will be blessed many times over! <br /><br />Look forward to when I have the time to get started on this again! <br /><br />Cheers!<br /><br />Thea L. BryanTheahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01206404058397865111noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418177621608679691.post-26011088437172552742010-11-10T05:56:00.000-08:002010-11-19T07:15:12.069-08:00Islam~Enlightening is an UnderstatementTo say my visit to the Islamic Center was enlightening is a vast understatement. In the short time I was there, my eyes were opened to what Islam and Muslims really are and what their beliefs mean.<br /><br />When I arrived the first thing I had to do was remove my shoes. This is part of their custom and of my immediate thoughts were how badly I am in need of a pedicure. I was greeted by the Imam (an Imam is like a preacher or priest) of the center, a young man from Morocco who is here in Asheville teaching the practice of Islam. He had previously warned me that his English was not so good, but I found him to be very articulate and quite easy to understand. With him was a Dr. B, another local Muslim who was kind enough to join him in explaining Islam to me. I can not thank them enough for their time and all the information they so graciously provided me with.<br /><br />They began by explaining to me that Islam means peace and submission, and that Allah is just another name for God. There are many names for God, this is just another. They went on to talk about the five pillars of Islam and the six articles of faith. The Pillars of Islam are the actions of the limbs and body, and the articles of faith are the actions of the heart<br /><br /><br />The first pillar is that there is one God and one God only. I was correct in my knowledge that contrary to what many believe and what I have actually heard some people claim, Muslims DO have the same God as Christians and Jews. Islam is very much a monotheistic religion. This is much like Judaism, I was in fact, surprised at the similarities between the two religions.<br /><br />The second pillar of Islam is prayer. Muslims pray five times a day. There is dawn, morning, afternoon, sunset and evening prayers, each prayer lasts about 10 minutes and the total time for praying each day is roughly about an hour. They were kind enough to let me sit in for their evening prayer time. There is a lot of kneeling and bowing involved. I would like to visit a standard mosque so I could accurately compare Islam to other places of worship, but the Islamic Center was very plain. There were no statues, or other idol symbols present. Women generally pray in the back of the mosque, this is not because women are considered inferior to men, but for modesty reasons, something I will touch on later.<br /><br />The third pillar of Islam is fasting on Ramadhan. I was incorrect in my assumption that they abstain from food altogether, they can actually eat before and after dawn on each day of the fasting ritual. Ramadhan is considered a time to cleanse the soul. Not only is food avoided, but also smoking, and basically anything else that is ill natured. It occurs the ninth month of the Islamic calendar, which this year fell in Aug through Sept. The Islamic calendar is a lunar calendar, and months begin when the first crescent of a new moon is sighted.<br /><br />The fourth pillar of Islam is to give to charity. They believe in giving 2.5% of their overall savings to charitable actions and the needy. Charity seems to be very important in Islamic faith.<br /><br />The fifth pillar is is making a lifetime pilgrimage to mecca, if it is within your means. Mecca is a city in Saudi Arabia regarded as the holiest meeting place in Islam. It is the birthplace of the prophet Mohammad. Mohammad is an important figure in Islam. He is regarded as the last prophet and he received the word of God through the angel Gabriel and compiled that into what is regarded as the Koran. The holy scripture for Muslims. I found it interesting that Muslims also follow the Old as well as the New Testament. They disregard anything that doesn't follow the Koran, but they do regard the aforementioned as the word of God.<br /><br /><br />There are six articles of faith. The first is absolute belief in God. It is OK to question God, but to not believe means everything is "shattered". This struck a chord with me as my own wavering of faith sometimes does leave me feeling "shattered". The second article is to believe in Gods angels, there are many angels, including the ones we are all familiar with. Gabriel, Micheal and Raphael. As I mentioned before, Gabriel is considering the angel that is regarded as the angel that gave the Koran to Mohammad. The fourth article of faith is to believe in all the prophets of God. That includes, Jesus and Mohammad. The fifth article of faith is The Day of Judgement. That is when Jesus will arise and lead the world to peace. The sixth article of faith is belief in the supremacy of Gods will. <br /><br />One thing I was surprised to learn was just how much Muslims follow the teachings of Jesus. He is believed to have been a prophet and a very important one at that. It is believed that he will come back as the messiah, will follow Islam, fight the anti-Christ and lead to the world to peace. Jesus was born of a virgin and was not the man on the cross the day of the crucifixion. He was "lifted up" by God before it took place.<br /><br />We hear so much about how women are treated in the Islamic faith, this was a topic I couldn't wait to get into. Yes, women are expected to dress modestly. They are to cover their hair, arms, legs and chest. In some cultures they were a burka, this is not a requirement except in certain places. This is their culture, they are not forced to do these things, it is what they believe according to their faith and how they live. Women are allowed to work, to learn, etc. They are not required to stay home, although the culture does seem to have more traditional roles for men and women. Men are the breadwinners and expected to take care of their families, women are the nurturers and generally care for the home and the children.<br /><br />Islamic dietary laws are very similar to Judaic dietary laws. They don't eat pork, or predatory animals, nor do they drink. Seafood is generally deemed to be OK.<br /><br />I went on to ask them what their thoughts on 9/11 was. They both said that that was a grave sin. That to kill an innocent person is the WORST thing an Muslim can do. This is what I already thought to be true, from what I had already known about Muslims, they are a peace loving people. They are NOT the ones that attacked us, a radical extremist group did. We can not put blame on one set of people for what a small group is responsible for. <br /><br />As I was leaving they provided me with a copy of the Koran. I have not read it yet, but would like to read through it at some point. I asked about that quote from the Koran that I keep hearing mentioned over and over. Something about "killing the infidels", this is spouted off over and over by people as their proof that Muslims are "out to get us". It is a reference taken out of context. The original quote just means that one is to defend oneself. Sound familiar? An eye for an eye maybe? <br /><br />I learned so much in my meeting with the Islamic Center, while its different than what we are all used to, its just another form of worshiping God. Muslims are different from other religions, but very much the same in some respects. I wish everyone would take the time to do what I am doing and get out there ad realize, technically, we are all just the same.Theahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01206404058397865111noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418177621608679691.post-54744875768944004582010-10-28T06:11:00.001-07:002010-10-28T06:25:19.863-07:00I'm Back...and Starting with a Good One-Islam!Well it seems as though I have fallen off the blog truck! Lots of things have happened over the past few months, some good, some bad. But sadly due to the economy I am unemployed yet again! So, in an effort to keep myself busy and off of the "unemployment couch" I have decided to get back into my research.<br /><br />I have decided to do Islam. I am very excited about this, as there is so much about Islam and <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">Muslims</span> in the news these days. There are a lot of false claims out there and I am curious to know what the truths are.<br /><br />What do I know about Islam? Well I know that it started around 500 ad with someone named <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">Mohammad</span>. I believe he is viewed as a prophet. From what I have been told, contrary to popular belief, they actually do worship the same God as <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">Christians</span> and Jews. I know they don't drink, they pray several times a day, they follow the teachings of <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">Mohammed</span> and they read the Koran. Ialso know that at least 22% of the worlds population is Muslim. But I feel like despite what I know, there is so much more that I don't. So today, I will be calling the Islamic Center here in Asheville and see if I can get ahold of someone there that can give me more information about Islam. Of all the religions I have done this far, this one is the most intimidating. I don't want to come across as being disrespectful or ignorant.<br /><br />So, I am back, for now, looking forward to learning more! Stay tuned!Theahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01206404058397865111noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418177621608679691.post-86578461710875522342010-04-12T06:04:00.000-07:002010-04-12T06:16:46.504-07:00Jehovah's Witness Week! Yikes!Well its finally Jehovah's Witness week. I have to say I know I would go into each religion with an open mind, but this one is going to be tough for me! My ex is a Jehovah's Witness and a self described nutcase. He blames all his problems ( and trust me there are MANY) on having been raised Jehovah's Witness. He <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">didn't</span> get birthday parties, didn't get to celebrate Christmas like his many classmates. Apparently his mother <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">wouldn't</span> let him have friends that weren't <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-error">JW's</span>. Blah, blah, blah. I do believe that many of his problems stemmed from being isolated as a child due to his parents religious beliefs. I feel if you are going to raise your children in such a individualized religion that its important to have others with the same beliefs as you around as much as possible (private schools, etc). Since he attended only public school he felt isolated much of the time.<br /><br />That being said I have a dear friend who is also a <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-error">JW</span>. She is not [as much] of a mess (love you <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-error">Reida</span>!).<br /><br />So, what do I know about <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" class="blsp-spelling-error">JW</span> besides the constant "<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">harassment</span>" at my front door?! I know they don't celebrate holidays, or birthdays. I still am not clear on why. I know Jesus was a Jew and Jews do celebrate many holidays including birthdays. I know they are adamant about going door to door to spread the word. I know they don't believe or refuse to fight in wars of any kind. I know they don't believe in hell, which makes it hard for me to understand why they don't partake in the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_7" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">fore mentioned</span> <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_8" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">activities</span> to begin with!<br /><br />"I can't celebrate my birthday, I'll go to hell!"<br />" No you won't! "<br />"Oh, <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_9" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">OK</span> then..!!!"<br /><br />Well this is going to be interesting, maybe for the first time EVER, someone will be knocking on a Jehovah's Witnesses door!<br /><br />Stay tuned!Theahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01206404058397865111noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418177621608679691.post-38305719543114535302010-04-04T05:54:00.000-07:002010-04-04T05:54:55.524-07:00Happy EasterHope everyone is having a Happy Easter no matter what their religious preference is. Here are some words from the Great Dalai Lama;<br /><br /> "Unless we know the value of other religious traditions, it is difficult to develop respect for them. Mutual respect is the foundation of genuine harmony. We should strive for a spirit of harmony, not for political or economic reasons, but rather simply because we realize the value of other traditions. I always make an effort to promote religious harmony."<br /><br />Cheers and Happy EasterTheahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01206404058397865111noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418177621608679691.post-9248580055600309422010-04-03T06:45:00.000-07:002010-05-04T07:15:32.165-07:00Too Quick to Judge; My ApologiesWell, I met with the paster at the Assembly of God church this week. Now I am feeling that I may have judged them too harshly. While its not my way or worshipping, its certainly not for me to decide how other people worship. Just because I didnt get anything out of it, doesnt mean that others don't. For some, this is how they are raised, to be "rejoiceful" to sing, wave your arms, praise God, etc. It was just very much outside my comfort zone. As most of you know, I went to Catholic School and had never attended this type of church service. Also, I want to make it clear that I didnt mean to allege that anyone there wasn't intelligent. I was just curious as to whether anyone has ever done studies on IQ and religion. Where I said it may have been misconstrued to say these people weren't intelligent. I certainly didn't mean to offend.<br /><br />While they are another religion against homosexuality ( I don't believe that its wrong) the paster did give me some good information and explained things to me, I actually got a little bit out of it! We talked about good and evil and he clarified some of the struggles i have been having. Why some people seem to be blessed and do nothing, while others serve God endlessly and suffer with illness, finances, etc. He informed me that the Devil does reward some people. God rewards those that follow him, but not always with "materialism". This made sense and clarified for some some things I have been struggling with.<br /><br />All and all not a bad lesson. I may go back on Wed and talk with him further. I think every religion I am studying seems to be offering me something!!! More to come.<br /><br />I will be posting more about this shortly! Just got up and can't find my glasses!!!Theahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01206404058397865111noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418177621608679691.post-17356544368644088882010-03-21T13:47:00.001-07:002010-05-04T07:00:32.472-07:00Assembly of God. Wow.I <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">haven't</span> been able to get back to the Seventh Day Adventist church. For several reasons, weather, illness and to be honest I have been attending <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">Shabbat</span> services on a semi-regular basis. I will try to get to them next Saturday, but in the meantime I am anxious to start blogging again, lets hope the weather holds up.<br /><br />Well, it just so happens that I live next door to a church. It is an Assembly of God church and since its a whopping 20 ft from my house I decided to go. This was unlike anything I have experience before!<br /><br />First there were people standing and praying with arms extended to the "altar". There was really no altar, few if any crosses were present. But still they prayed. The church was a bit plain but modern. They had electric guitars, drums, keyboards, etc. The first hour was nothing but singing. The music is what I would consider to be Christian Rock. People were really getting into it, dancing in the aisles, arms raised up, singing loudly, waving, etc. This music and singing went on for an HOUR. The congregation was really getting into it, this music, which I <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">couldn't</span> really figure out why, but they seemed to be getting something out of it. I was confused as to what the importance of all this was, some of it seemed incredibly bizarre. There were people whispering out their own prayers, saying things like "yes Jesus, thank you Jesus".<br /><br />Finally the pastor got up, I thought he was finally going to start preaching, but no, more singing. This time Amazing Grace (what else?)<br /><br />Sometimes I wonder if there is a correlation to IQ and religious preferece. I am not saying people of certain religions aren't intelligent, but it would be interesting to see what the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-error">IQ's</span> of certain religious followers are. Are some religions more intelligent than others? It would be interesting to see. I digress...<br /><br />Finally he started preaching and of course the first words were about tithing to the church. How you should be giving 10% of your earnings to the church and with that the collection plates started passing around. Everyone started pulling out cash and to be honest I will a little appalled. To be honest I have always found the collection plate a bit appalling. I don't like the idea of God and money going hand in hand. Anyway then there was more singing.<br /><br />The pastor read from Acts Chap 11 20<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" class="blsp-spelling-error">th</span> verse. I am not real clear what his point was, or if there even was one. He then mentioned the government, made a comment the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">government</span> trying to take the position of God. He mentioned the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_7" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">government</span> telling us what we should buy, what we should eat and something about the nation "slipping". Again, I was confused, the government doesn't tell me what to eat or what to buy. If the government were going to take a God like position, <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_8" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">wouldn't</span> this be a good thing? He mentioned health insurance and how we will soon have no free choice and will be TOLD what insurance to buy. This <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_9" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">isn't</span> how I am understanding <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_10" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">health care</span> reform. Those private insurance will continue to have whatever they choose. Nothing was mentioned about those who can't afford insurance or who can't get it in the first place because they are already sick. Furthermore, I thought preachers weren't supposed to be talking about politics, <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_11" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">doesn't</span> this cause them to lose their tax breaks?<br /><br />He went on to preach out "Gods will" and again, I <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_12" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">didn't</span> really grasp the point of it all. I am going to contact the pastor (my landlord) and see if he can clarify some of the comments he made. This was by far the strangest church experience I have had thus far.<br /><br />For those of you that don't already know, I am leaning towards Judaism, been studying it for several months now. I will write more about that later.<br /><br />Next week, <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_13" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">Jehovah's</span> Witness!!! Yikes!!!Theahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01206404058397865111noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418177621608679691.post-9133264839909601182010-02-07T07:19:00.000-08:002010-02-07T07:22:37.656-08:00Well CrapYet more bad weather has prevented me from attending the SDA church. We had a snow storm last weekend, then icy roads yesterday. It may be another month or so before I can get my blog going regularly again.<br /><br />In the meantime, I got to thinking the other day. If Jesus Christ was alive today, what religion would He be? I asked this of my facebook friends and the general consensus was he would be Jewish. Of, course he would, that makes total sense. He WAS Jewish. So I thought I would put this out there and see what anyone else thinks about this. Comments welcome!<br /><br />And lets pray I make it to the SDA church next week. I am anxious to get my blog going again.<br /><br />Cheers,<br /><br />TheaTheahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01206404058397865111noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418177621608679691.post-62892600763979150552010-01-26T07:05:00.000-08:002010-01-26T07:28:33.101-08:00Finally, Seventh Day AdventistWell I finally got around to meeting with the pastor of the Seventh Day Adventist Church and I have to say I found myself a little disappointed. As I have previously mentioned I attended SDA briefly during my childhood and was looking forward to talking with them. I like their overall view of things, which is basically that you need to take care of yourself , that Jesus wants you to be healthy and they promote healthy living and eating. Their diets, while not as strict as kosher, are very similiar. We talked for quite a while, I discussed my "quest" for God, we prayed and he explained quite a bit about the religion, some of it I was already aware of.<br /><br />To be honest, things were going well until I asked the pastor about their views on homosexuality. He informed me that he treats homosexuals as he would singles, that they should abstain (forever?), that he believe it is a lifestyle and gay people should pray for themselves to be healed. I guess I was a little taken aback, I still can't believe that people think this way.<br /><br />I, personally don't believe that anyone "chooses" to be gay, no more so than I choose to be straight. It's not a choice, its not a lifestyle. Science everyday seems to be backing those beliefs. Its this kind of "shame" and "repression" that have lead so many gay people to turn to drugs and alcohol and live a life filled with pain. I can't be a part of a church that would shun anyone because of the way they are. Something they certainly didn't <em>choose.</em><br /><em></em><br />Beyond that this is another church that is very "Jesus laden". Don't get me wrong, I love Jesus, I just don't like the way so many churches are interpretting Him and what He was about. I'm not so sure that they get it, what He was really all about. The God I believe in wouldn't create someone a certain way and then proclaim their natural sexual proclivity a sin.<br /><br />The more Christian churches I attend the more I am leaning towards Judaism. I immediately went and had lox and bagels.Theahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01206404058397865111noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418177621608679691.post-32873376382801847992010-01-21T09:59:00.001-08:002010-01-21T11:02:27.013-08:00A Week Immersed in Judaism and Prayin' It Old SchoolWell, I am back, finally, this time for good! Lets hope anyway! So to update, my quest for God most recently took me to New York City. Thanks to an invitation by a Modern Orthodox dentist in New Jersey I spent almost a week totally immersed in Judaism. This was quite the learning experience for me. I ate kosher, got to explore Borough Park in Brooklyn and ate at kosher deli's. I have to say Borough Park freaked me out a little bit, to see how the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">Hasidic</span> Jews live, dress and just to see their day to day life was very surreal. I felt like I was on another planet! Quite interesting to say the least.<br /><br />I have to say I have been impressed with most of the Jewish people I have met recently. While I was in New York, I had dinner with a wonderful Modern Orthodox family. They were so kind to invite me, the food was amazing and I was able to see how a Jewish family spends the sabbath. NO! They don't sit around in the dark as I had imagined. We ate, talked, drank amazing wine and have wonderful conversations. Again, so impressed with <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">Jewish</span> family life. That being said I am still on the fence about converting.<br /><br />Which takes me to today. I, at the coaxing of one of my readers, made an <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-error">appt</span> with a Christian Science practitioner. I am battling some depression and was told that a CS <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">practitioner</span> could help, so what the hell, I am going to give it a try. Stay tuned.<br /><br />As I was leaving the Christian Science Reading Room I heard the bells from the Basilica of St Lawrence here. They sound so beautiful, as I passed by the church I felt compelled to go inside. The church is breathtaking, absolutely gorgeous. I <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">haven't</span> been to a Catholic Church in a very long time and it all felt to incredibly familiar to me. It seemed as though I arrived just before mass, so I decided to stay. Of course I know the prayers, and all the other practices that go along with a catholic mass. It was nice. I felt really good to be there. I even took communion, which technically I am not supposed to as I have never been baptized Catholic. Anyway, I'm sure God will forgive me.<br /><br />I am still under a lot of stress. I <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">haven't</span> felt God anywhere around me lately, but today, I kind of did. I am still struggling with my faith, but I am feeling oddly calm today, almost hopefully.<br /><br />I will resume my blog at once! I have an <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" class="blsp-spelling-error">appt</span> with the Seventh Day Adventist pastor here on Monday so I will continue with them as promised. So glad to be back!!! Once again on my journey to find God!Theahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01206404058397865111noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418177621608679691.post-56035881510498011932009-12-27T07:00:00.001-08:002009-12-27T07:11:59.476-08:00Waiting for the New Year!Well a snowstorm and Christmas put my trip to the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">SDA</span> church here off for a bit. I am still here and looking forward to the new year/new decade!<br /><br />I have been thinking a lot lately about what works. Prayers go unanswered, positive thinking is a crock, so what works? <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">Fung</span> <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-error">Shei</span>? <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-error">Voo</span> <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-error">Doo</span>? Witchcraft? Spells? Rituals? Sacrifices? Is there anything out there that works in the spiritual realm? I have become such a skeptic in the past year or so, I have come to the conclusion that nothing works. There is no way to change things or make things happen other than hard work and luck.<br /><br />I used to believe firmly in the power of prayer but if God hears my prayers he certainly <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">doesn't</span> seem to answer them. Nor does He direct me in the right path. Or maybe He does and I just don't know it, but it <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">doesn't</span> feel that way to me. I'm unemployed, single mom raising two children entirely alone. All I want, ALL I am praying for is a job to keep a roof over our heads and allow me to raise them without struggling. Simple right? Well apparently not. Its been two years now since I have worked steady. My inheritance is gone. I've beat my head against the wall trying to think of a business/idea that would net me an income and nothing has panned out. Now I'm broke, my credits gone to shit. God forbid my car breaks down, or even worse that I become ill and can't even look for work. Yes, I know, I'm whining again and I HATE it. I am so frustrated. I just want life to stop being so damned difficult. Anyway, yes, I KNOW I have it better than a lot of people, but <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_7" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">damn it</span> I have it worse than a lot of people too.<br /><br />I just keep dredging along. Cheers, and Happy New Year! Looking forward to better times on the horizon!Theahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01206404058397865111noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418177621608679691.post-21935331397794550792009-12-17T06:30:00.000-08:002009-12-17T06:43:32.585-08:00Week Twenty? It's Seventh Day Adventist Week!!!!!A minor bit of trivia about me is that I actually was a Seventh Day Adventist breifly growing up. It was probably the happiest time of what was otherwise a turbulent childhood.<br /><br />What is Seventh Day Adventist? Well its a bizarre combination of Judaism and Christianity. They go to church on Saturday and have similiar dietary restrictions as Judaism, in fact most SDA's are vegetarians. They also believe very much in the second coming and the end of times.<br /><br />I remember going to Sabbath school and my mom reading a great deal about Revelations and armegeddon. Of course this was in the seventies and everyone thought the world was going to end by 2001. As we know now, it didnt. I will be calling the SDA church here today, get more information and attend church this SATURDAY!!!!<br /><br />I want to mention that I have fallen behind in my blog as I have been experiencing a great deal of depression and stress. An almost debilitating depression to be honest. I continue to be out of work and of course the stresses of taking care of two children occasionally take their toll on me. I'm doing what I can to dig myself out, and I am hoping with prayers and hard work things will improve. The feelings of hopelessness are palpable, some days are better though, I want to thank everyone that is out there praying for me.<br /><br />Also, I want to thank the anonymous donor that hit the donate button! Donations help me continue this blog as well as help my current financial situation. Keep them coming, no matter how big or small.<br /><br />Happy Holidays and I am so excited to be revisiting my youth this week with a visit to the local Seventh Day Adventist Church!Theahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01206404058397865111noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418177621608679691.post-10677715103743240942009-11-14T07:22:00.000-08:002009-11-14T07:52:43.312-08:00The Mormon Experience!First, I have to say, the Mormons scared the shit out of me. It was late afternoon on a Sat when they knocked at my door. When I opened it and saw two men standing there in crisp, white shirts and ties my first thought was , FBI!!!! Of course I <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">suddenly</span> realized these were the Mormons there to explain all things Mormon to me!<br /><br />Elders <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Novak</span> and Lott, two very polite, and very nice looking (those Mormons are a good looking bunch!) sat on my front porch with me and answered all my questions. There are a lot of discrepancies about Mormons out there, one of the more common misconceptions is that they are not Christians. This is because of the doctrinal differences. They do not believe that the Father, Son and Holy Spirit are one, they believe they are <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">separate</span>. They do follow the teachings of Jesus Christ though, so doesn't this make them Christian? So confusing.<br /><br />They do not believe in drinking coffee, tea or wine. This seems strange because Jesus himself drank wine, but they claim that it was not wine he drank but grape juice, that it all translated differently. They explained to me that these things <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">aren't</span> good for you anyway, but the truth is a lot of tea's and even some wines have been proven to have health benefits. This is something I would find difficult to follow. I do love my lattes, my teas and my occasional glass of wine. Although the Elders did say Pepsi was <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">OK</span>. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Hmmm</span>?<br /><br />They explained a little about the Book of Mormon. I am not a historian nor a <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Biblical</span> Scholar, but some of there historical beliefs seem a bit flimsy. I guess for me, I have a hard time giving that much <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">credence</span> to Joseph Smith. The fact that no one ever saw these golden plates and he apparently wasn't able to relay these accounts a second time to Martin Harris, one of his translators. I don't know, maybe these things did happen as Joseph Smith said, but I, for one, have a hard time swallowing it. <br /><br />I attended the services on Sunday and Elder <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Novak</span> was waiting at the front door. He was kind enough to sit next to me (did I mention that the Mormons were a good looking bunch?) and answer all my questions during the service. The first thing that struck me was that the church itself was very plain, there were no crosses, no stained glass windows. Elder <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">Novak</span> explained to me that this is because you should focus on the life of Jesus, not the the death. This made sense to me though, although as I have mentioned before I do rather enjoy some of the pomp and circumstance of some religions.<br /><br />They took communion right away, which was different than any other church I have attended thus far. This consisted of actual bread and surprisingly water. I am still not quite clear on why it was water and not grape juice, something about keeping costs down. Several members came up that day and gave testimonies about their faith and they seemed to be quite emotional about it. Some even cried a bit. It was interesting and yes, very different than anything else I have seen during my "research". <br /><br />Honestly, and please don't hate me Mormons, I felt the whole experience to be a bit <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">Stepford</span> Wife. I don't know why, but this is how <em>I felt. </em>That being said, the Mormons do seem to be a very impressive group of people. Very family oriented, kind and respectful. Am I Mormon? I think it's safe to say I am not.<br /><br />Next week, a new one on me, Apostolic!Theahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01206404058397865111noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418177621608679691.post-82211749923434895382009-11-01T06:57:00.000-08:002009-11-01T07:17:40.695-08:00Week Thirteen: Its Mormon Week!Its finally Mormon week! While I don't know a lot about Mormons I want to say first and foremost that that I have been immensely impressed by the Mormons I have known. They seem to be really great people, albeit a little too damn happy for me! Yes, just like that episode of South Park.<br /><br />So what do I know about Mormons? I know they were started by Joseph Smith. He claims God had appeared to him and told him to start his own religion. Now, word on the street is that Joseph Smith was working in the field that day, came across some "magic mushrooms" and that this epiphany was really a pre 1960's acid trip. Don't hate me Mormons, I didnt start this rumor!<br /><br />I know that Mormons don't drink alcohol or caffiene and that it's really a small sect of them that actually live in polygamy. I know they follow the Book of Mormon, which was published in 1830 by Joseph Smith, they were found buried near his home and he had been directed to their whereabouts by an angel. They were written on golden plates and in what Smith called "reformed Egyptian". They were said to tell of the second coming of Jesus Christ although no one but Smith ever saw the plates.<br /><br />There is a lot I need to learn this week about Mormonism. There are a lot of discrepancies out there about them. As I mentioned in an earlier post I have been told that Mormons are not Chirstians, which has something to do with the doctrinal differences.<br /><br />I will be calling the Mormon church this week and see what else I can learn about the Mormons. I will also try to find a copy of The Book of Mormon and read into that a bit.<br /><br />More to come!Theahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01206404058397865111noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418177621608679691.post-5967495061012231012009-10-26T12:22:00.000-07:002009-10-26T12:34:07.452-07:00Mazel Tov!So, dear readers, I attended the Jewish synagogue Friday night and I have to say this was the most out of my element experience I have had thus far and I absolutely loved it! First and foremost I LOVED the music! It was wonderful, very catchy, I wanted to dance! And at some point I think I may have done just that!<br /><br />The temple was huge, and of course the abscence of crosses was a bit strange. The star of David was of course, quite prevalent. An extremely nice older man sat next to me, I explained my project to him and he jumped right in, filling me in on all things Jewish and answered all my questions! The prayer book was interesting, as it opened from back to front. Most of the prayers and songs were in Hebrew but the translations were right there in the book. They had a woman rabbi, which I had not been aware that women could be or were rabbis, but yes, they are. I really enjoyed the verbatim that she had with the congregation. During parts of the service you are asked quesitons and everyone gives his or her opinion. She brought up a story about Noah and Abraham, and we were asked which one we identified with. You then turned to the person/s next to you to discuss this and then shared your answers out loud with the rabbi. I really enjoyed this sort of participation. This is something I am not in the Christian churches I have attended, in the bible classes yes, but not in church. Afterward I was invited downstairs where we had food and a toast. I spoke briefly with the rabbi who was very welcoming and invited me to attend the welcome to judaism classes that start next month. I am seriously considering going. I may go to temple again, just to go. I do love Jesus though....Theahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01206404058397865111noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418177621608679691.post-22837235039243595212009-10-20T06:43:00.000-07:002009-10-20T06:49:55.742-07:00Week Nine and Ten (maybe 11) I'm Still Here and Hitting the Reset ButtonWell I finally made it safe and sound to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Asheville</span>, NC. I failed to realize what a monumental task moving three cats and two kids halfway across the US would be and I have been beyond overwhelmed. I still have a ton of unpacking to do and I'm searching relentlessly for daycare for my three year old. However, I love doing this blog, have met some amazing people and I cant wait to get back to my quest for God.<br /><br />As I mentioned, my move was a bigger task than presumed so I never got around to getting in touch with anyone at the Scientology Center in Dallas. There, to my knowledge, <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">isn't</span> a Scientology Center in <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Asheville</span>, so I am putting them aside (as I did the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Lutherans</span>) and will be doing them a bit later.<br /><br />Sunday I attended a Jewish Festival here in <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Asheville</span>. I spoke to one of the women at the festival, told her about about my blog and was promptly invited to attend the synagogue Friday evening! I am so excited! I have wanted to go to a synagogue for a very long time and now I will get my chance! I have so much I want to learn about the Jewish faith! Can't wait!<br /><br />So its Jewish week! So glad to be back!Theahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01206404058397865111noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418177621608679691.post-76635761855872263642009-10-04T00:30:00.000-07:002009-10-04T00:34:23.712-07:00An Open Letter to GodDear God,<br /><br />If I ever needed you, I need you now. I need to know that you are here with me and that I am making the right decisions. I am exhausted, I have no one in my life that I can count on, if its true that you are here I need you now. Please God, help me. I can no longer continue to pay for mistakes I made in my past. I can not go through life being a tortured soul. If there is something I need to be doing to make things right for myself and my children, <em>please,</em> show me the way. I need to be forgiven and I need to know you are here for me. I need to be forgiven. I need to be forgiven. I NEED to be forgiven.Theahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01206404058397865111noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418177621608679691.post-65332456266290432982009-09-30T07:48:00.000-07:002009-09-30T07:58:55.560-07:00Week Eight: Scientology!I had wanted to do Scientology at a later date, when my investigative reporting skills are a little more practiced, however, with my move next week I am not sure if I am going to find a Scientology center in Asheville, NC. There is a huge one in Dallas so hopefully they can give me the information I need.<br /><br />So, what do I know about Scientology? Well I know it was created by L Ron Hubbard and is based on his book, Dianetics, which I have not read. I know something about the teachings of Xenu and that they believe he came from the Galactic Confederacy. I know that L Ron Hubbard was a science fiction writer and that, to be honest, some of this stuff sounds a little hoaky. BUT, I had said I would go into each religion with an open mind, so I am going to try to cast off some of the negatives I have heard about Scientology and see what I can find out for myself.<br /><br />And hopefully they won't sue me;-)Theahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01206404058397865111noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418177621608679691.post-37208939363262912042009-09-24T02:22:00.000-07:002009-09-24T02:35:19.837-07:00Week Seven: A Baptism?I have been thinking lately that maybe I need to look into getting baptized. To my knowledge I have never been baptized and sometimes I wonder if it has something to do with my being "cursed". I have for many years thought that I am somehow "cursed"; I was born with this face, these godawful freckles, into an unloving, neglectful family. I've had horrible luck with men and my life has been a struggle at best.<br /><br />Most of my friends have enduring marriages, with husbands that take good care of them. They are happy and certainly not sitting at home wondering how much longer they will have a roof over their head. I have had a few short lived relationships and none of them ever <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">benefited</span> me in any way. I had always assumed that Mr Right would come along and it would be like Valley Girl or Ghost, nothing would keep us apart, even social class or death and we would be together forever traveling the world. Well, it never happened. I ended up settling for much, much less. Of course at this point I am 40 and alone. To be honest I <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">don't</span> mind being alone, but I do worry. What if I get sick? What if I'm in an accident? Who would take care of me? I guess this is where Christians would tell me that God would be there for me. We'll see.<br /><br />I have had an extremely busy week with packing and trying to get caught up on homework. I am also going out of town tomorrow so I have been unable to do a religion this week. I will however, be doing Scientology when I get back! I had wanted to do them a little further down the line, but it doesnt appear that there is a Scientology center in Asheville, but there is one in Dallas. I am excited to be doing Scientology! This has to be one of the more interesting religions out there!<br /><br />Oh, and I still have not gotten back to the Christian Science reading room to see about a healing. I will also try to fit that in next week as well.<br /><br />Cheers and keep praying.Theahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01206404058397865111noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418177621608679691.post-59976002396098240132009-09-18T07:49:00.000-07:002009-09-18T07:59:45.401-07:00Week Six: Still Here and The Bible & MeWell, I never got around to getting to the Luthern Church in Asheville, nor did I get around to talking to anyone about being Luthern, so I have decided to do them again at a later date. Also, I ate something on the road during the trip home that made me deathly ill, so I have decided to skip a religion this week and start again next.<br /><br />Currently my head is spinning. I have decided, rather suddenly, to pack up and move almost halfway across the US. I'm not sure if I am doing the right thing or not. I do know that the past few months have taken their toll on me and if I didnt do something I was going to lose everything. Sometimes I guess you have to take chances.<br /><br />My depression appears to be worse today, the stress of moving, being ill, etc are all weighing in on me. I am going to try to contact someone from the Christian Science reading room and see about getting a healing. I am intrigued and hey, it can't hurt, right?<br /><br />In the meantime I think I need to take some time to focus on the bible. The truth is I dont have a huge biblical background. I am not one of those people that can quote bible verses or tell you where to find whatever scripture. I had always thought one day I would read it from cover to cover, but that has yet to happen. Anyway, I think today I will get out that giant bible my dad left me and go through it a bit. Maybe I can find some comfort and solace in it.<br /><br />I am still on a desperate search for God. I kind of thought he was with me in Asheville, when I found a house so easily, a wonderful school for my daughter and actually got a few job leads. Was he telling me that that was where I needed to be? Or was it all coincidence? Still wondering and as my head continues to spin, beginning to have doubts again.Theahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01206404058397865111noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418177621608679691.post-91909058587966350292009-09-13T07:04:00.000-07:002009-09-13T07:15:40.462-07:00A Moment of Insanity and a Luthern ChurchAfter the nonstop string of stressful events last week, in a moment of utter insanity I packed up myself and the kids (well one of them, Selina stayed behind) and drove to Asheville, NC. Why? Well I have kind of reached my proverbial breaking point in Ft. Worth. Its been more than a year since I have worked steadily, I don't have much of a social network there (more on that later) and I am sick of the 100 degree heat.<br /><br />Asheville was first brought to my attention a couple of years ago. It was named "Happiest Place in America". I was instantly intrigued! A happy place? <span style="font-style: italic;">Here</span>? In America? Aren't we all too overworked, unemployed, underpaid, uninsured, conservative/liberal to be happy???? I first came here a year and a half ago and LOVED it! I had thought about moving here, but because of fear (which seems to rule my life) I didnt do it then. <br /><br />After Thursday's breaking point and my brief stint into insanity (because insanity knows no fear) I jumped in the car and headed east! I found a house yesterday!!!!! Unbelievably in a great area and even more unbelievably less than what I am paying in Ft Worth! It looks as though God (or insanity) is finally directing me, lets just hope in the right direction.<br /><br />I am getting ready to go to the Luthern Church here to at least check it out. The great thing is I can continue my quest for God here in Asheville as they appear to have all the religions and some lesser known ones, just like the DFW area!<br /><br />Keep the prayers coming! They just might be working!!!!Theahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01206404058397865111noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418177621608679691.post-31136889638670888312009-09-10T08:37:00.001-07:002009-09-10T08:42:43.213-07:00Quest for God. A Waste of Time?I know I am only on week five, but I am beginning to think my quest is just another waste of time. My effort to "find God" is going to be a little like trying to find Mr. Right. One of those things that happens to other people, but not to me.<br /><br />I am beaten down. The past three days I have been had my electricity shut off, been inundated by bill collectors and still no job in sight. I was trying to start my own business, but I have been unsuccessful at finding anyone to help with the website. I had a meeting today with two people that I had hoped to get some advice and information from and they never showed. My body hurts, I literally feel like I have been beaten up. I have prayed to God to please give me some answers, something, and of course it all goes unanswered. I am alone, I am scared and I am losing this battle.<br /><br />My faith continues to wane.Theahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01206404058397865111noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418177621608679691.post-75210299265435495482009-09-09T06:10:00.000-07:002009-09-09T06:25:38.199-07:00Blind Faith?I was thinking last night during one of my many bouts with insomnia, why is God such a mystery? Why can't He, for at least one day, come down from the Heavens, shake his cane around and say "Hey people! You better watch out! I'm here!". I think a little PR work would do Him some good. He could clarify a few things, i.e; Where's Jimmy Hoffa? Who killed Kennedy? etc. Make an appearance on Oprah. Clear up some discrepancies on various religious beliefs, update the bible (21st century edition anyone?). Of course this would scare the hell out of some, but it would certainly make things a little easier for us to understand. We could stop wars, healthcare debates, etc if God would just come down for a week or so and lay down the law.<br /><br />If God is real, does faith have to be blind?Theahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01206404058397865111noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418177621608679691.post-23313701200291100922009-09-08T10:57:00.000-07:002009-09-08T11:02:20.229-07:00Week Five: LutheranI have decided to do Lutherans this week. I don't know anything about Lutherans, but I believe its very <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">similar</span> to Episcopalian and other <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Protestant</span> religions.<br /><br />I will try to find out more in the coming days. Once again I am having an incredibly difficult day and wondering where God is. My prayers for work have still gone unanswered, bills are piling up and I have a horrific headache. So much so, that I <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">don't</span> even feel like complaining about it. At some point we all reach our breaking point, and I think I have just about hit mine. Something has to give and soon, please, keep the prayers coming. While they <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">haven't</span> helped yet, they certainly can't hurt.Theahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01206404058397865111noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418177621608679691.post-43729901740653748372009-09-07T20:32:00.000-07:002009-09-07T20:51:16.637-07:00Christian Science Update and a Healing?I have received a few emails from Christian Scientists and I need to clarify an error I made about there service. From what I have been told I misunderstood and they don't do the same service year after year. Actually I am going to <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">re post</span> what Tony from England wrote me:<br /><br /><em>1. Mary Baker Eddy was a lifelong Bible student and even, occasionally, healed others through prayer before having her own significant healing. Following that healing of her own, she then immersed herself even more deeply in Bible study to understand HOW she had been healed, and this is how she describes that experience in another of her books: “This knowledge came to me in an hour of great need; and I give it to you as death-bed testimony to the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">daystar</span> that dawned on the night of material sense. This knowledge is practical, for it wrought my immediate recovery from an injury caused by an accident, and pronounced fatal by the physicians. On the third day thereafter, I called for my Bible, and opened it at Matthew ix. As I read, the healing Truth dawned upon my sense; and the result was that I rose, dressed myself, and ever after was in better health than I had before enjoyed. That short experience included a glimpse of the great fact that I have since tried to make plain to others, namely, Life in and of Spirit; this Life being the sole reality of existence.” (“Miscellaneous Writings” 1883-1896, p.24)<br />2. The readings from the Bible and Science and Health that you heard read on the Sunday are considered a sermon – the Lesson Sermon – and, if they are well read by people enthused by the spiritual insights they have gained from studying them during the week, those readings can make for a really inspiring sermon that really touches the heart to the healing presence of divine Love. Also, the actual content is never repeated, it is only the theme that is repeated </em><br /><br />I would like to thank those that emailed me! Its hard to learn everything about a specific religion in just a weeks time.<br /><br />I have decided to go ahead and look into a healing. I am curious to find out if there is something to these <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">healings</span>. I have to confess that I did have a "faith" healing years ago by a Catholic Priest and it actually brought relief to my <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">OCD</span>. Sadly it was short lived. I am not sure how a Christian Science healing works, but I guess I will find out in the coming days.<br /><br />I have been asked what it is I am looking for by doing this project. The truth is I don't really know. Its about more than just finding a church I enjoy attending. To be honest, <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">that's</span> not that hard to do. I guess I really want to find "God" himself, something, anything I can believe in. I want Him to come down from the Heavens and make His presence so known to me that there is no more doubt in my mind. I have lost so much faith, I <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">don't</span> believe in much of anything anymore. There are no ghosts, spirits, unicorns, <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">UFOs</span>, no loch<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">ness</span> monsters, no big foots. Everything has been explained away. God continues to be, well, elusive it seems. While I had a few small prayers answered the other day, the big ones, the ones I NEED answered, have gone unnoticed. I am still unemployed, still afraid, still worried. Its not just me either, there are a lot of people suffering, going without, struggling to get by. Where is God in this "recession"? Why <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">isn't</span> He making things better? And of course that brings me around to the whole beginning, maybe He <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">isn't</span> doing anything because He <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">isn't</span> there to begin with? *sigh*<br /><br />Well, the only immediate prayer I need answered right now is that I sleep tonight! Cheers.Theahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01206404058397865111noreply@blogger.com