Presbyterians Are Awesome!

I made it to the Presbyterian church service Sunday! This church was the biggest and most beautiful I have attended thus far. The inside was just enormous and ornate, there was a huge organ above the doors in the back of the church. The music was loud and very churchy, a bit eerie but very nice at the same time. The massiveness of the church, I have to admit , gave it a kind of cold feeling, but there was all the pomp and circumstance that I am used to given my Catholic background. They did not do communion at this service but from what I understand they do communion at the 8:30 service every Sunday (AND they use REAL WINE AND REAL BREAD!)

Despite the coldness of the actual church the people were VERY FRIENDLY! I told a few of the women that sat next to me about my little project and they seemed interested. As I was leaving I just happen to run into the education director that I had been trying to reach all week. She had not received my message until that morning but when I told her my name she knew exactly who I was. She was so kind as to take a few minutes of her time and answer some of my questions.

Some of the information she gave me is that Presbyterian believe in one baptism at one time. They ordain women into the ministry and ministers are allowed to marry. She also informed me that they believe that each person is called to God before birth. I was subsequently invited to attend their Sunday morning classes, which I may do at some point. I have to say this church experience has been the best I have had thus far! If you were to ask me which church I would definitely return to, this is the one.

I am still struggling with my faith issues though. The enormous amount of stress I have been dealing with doesn't seem to wane. I keep wondering why God cant give me a break! Or if nothing else put me in the right direction. Every day that goes by and I'm still not working and nothing else seems to be happening I lose a little more faith. But then again, should things suddenly change for the better, do I then suddenly believe again? I don't want to be one of these hypocrites that blames God when things are bad and then suddenly when things improve its all "thanks to God". If I do find my faith, I really would like to find it before something wonderful happens, this is providing that something wonderful does happen. Who knows, my life might continue to be a constant shit fest! *sigh*

Ok, dear readers (if I have any!) this week I am doing Christian Science!

Presbyterians Don't Call Back

Well, I have to say I am a little disappointed, I have tried repeatedly to get in touch with someone at St. Stephens Presbyterian Church and as of today, no one has called me back. I guess I could have called another presbyterian church, but time constraints, job interviews (or the lack of) and the usual nonstop nonsense of life, prevented me from doing so.

I will go ahead and go Sunday to the church service, maybe I can find someone there to tell me a little bit more about Presbyterians. Also, I must remember to keep petty cash on me for the donation plates. The last two churches I completely forgot to do so and felt a little bit like an ass for not having anything to donate. I so wish they would get credit card swipers on those things, it would certainly make church donations much easier for those of us that prefer not to carry cash on us.

I am trying to decide what religion to hit next week. I think I would like to go ahead and do something a little more avant garde and do Chrisitian Science. They have a Christian Science church here, lets just hope someone calls me back!!!

Week Three: Presbytarian!

So this week I am focusing on the Presbyterians. What do I know about Presbyterians? Well, not a whole lot. I think it might be something like the Episcopalians that I visited a few weeks back. Today I will call and make an appointment with the head of a beautiful Presbyterian church here. I have wanted to see the inside of this church for years, its in a wonderful Ft Worth neighborhood and happens to be huge! There must be plenty of Presbyterians in Ft Worth, but I don't think I know any!

From the little bit of reading I have done on Presbyterians, the church evolved in Scotland in the 18Th century. It is part of the Protestant branch of Christianity, which is a little confusing because I had thought that Protestant was its own religion. I guess I do have a lot to learn!

I am looking forward to talking to the head of this particular church so he can give me more insight into the Presbyterian religion. Who knows, maybe I'm Presbyterian?

Baptists Are Nice!!!

So I attended the Baptist church today and was impressed with how nice everyone was! An elderly lady next to me asked how I was doing and welcomed me. I told her about my little project and she seemed interested! I have decided to go ahead be upfront as to why I am there, hopefully it will generate some interest in my blog.

The service itself was different than I am used to. I have been to Baptist churches before but its been a long time. The church was not as ornate as the Catholic churches I generally attend. They have a pastor rather than a priest and of course he was wearing a suit rather than robes. There was no aisle procession or anything of that nature. None of the pomp and circumstance that I have seen in other churches. I have to admit I do like some of the formalities of some of the other religions, there was none of that in this Baptist church. There was no kneelers, they do not sit, kneel, stand, kneel like some of the other religions.

They did do communion, which I was not aware that Baptists did communion every Sunday. But they bring it to you in a large plate. Stupid me took the host and ate it immediately! Thats how the Catholics do it! Anyway, they apparently wait until everyone has their host and then eat it. Then they passed out tiny little cups of grape juice, of course I would rather have wine! But it was a nice experience.

The sermon itself was longer than I am used to. The whole service was about an hour and twenty minutes. The pastor talked a bit about praying correctly. Now I'm wondering if the reasons my prayers haven't been answered is because I have never prayed correctly. I didnt realize there was a way to pray correctly, generally I just "talk" to God. I guess I still have a lot to learn.

Well, I really feel like I have dropped the ball with Baptists. I should have gotten in touch with the pastor and had him answer some questions for me. This is a learning process though, I guess I'm learning as I go. But to be honest I dont get the feeling that I'm Baptist.

Next week, the Presbyterians!!!!! I will get in touch with that churches leader and have set of questions for him! Excited about this one, I dont know anything about Presbytarians! Once again, I have picked a big beautiful church to attend. This week, I won't drop the ball!

Weel Two: Baptist Week

Dear readers, I guess I have to admit I havent been overly anxious about Baptist week. Please no hate mail Baptists, but the truth is I think of Baptist as a rather boring religion! Sorry to say, Baptists are fine people, I have been to Baptist Churches many times and even have some Baptists in my own family. My dad was actually attended a Baptist church for a while years ago. But yeah, its not one of the religions that really peaks my interests.

I did not get in touch with the person in charge at the baptist church I will be attending tomorrow. This is partly, well mostly, my fault, I have had a rather stressful and busy week. On top of job hunting I had several other incidents to deal with which ate up a lot of my time.

So, what do I know about Baptists? Well, I know they don't like dancing! I know they are a Christian religion and I believe part of what is considered "evangelical". I will be attending the Baptist church tomorrow and will find someone there to answer more of my questions!

As I mentioned before I wish I had more time and money to put into this project!

The Episcopal Ceremony

First I must say the Episcopal church here was quite beautiful. I have wanted to go in to this particular church for quite some time. The service itself was nice, similar to the catholic services I am used to. The prayers were different, I couldnt say them verbatim like I can at the catholic churches I have been to.

I am finding that I am not nervous about going to the different services, I guess since I am there doing "research" rather than an outsider that somehow makes it easier.

They had a woman doing part of the service. I am not sure if she was an ordained priest or what, but I always enjoy seeing women having a more active role in the churches.

I really wish I had more time to go into the history of each and every religion and church I attend. I guess all that will come out in the book edition!

I have had a very stressful week, my inability to find suitable employment has me spiraled into a rather deep depression. I am trying to break out of it, but its making doing anything these days difficult. I will hopefully have a much better grip on things soon and be able to focus more, much needed attention to this project.

Well, tomorrow, The Baptists!

Sin is a Big Deal

I have been thinking more about what the Episcopal priest told me the other day about how thousands of years ago people offered up sacrifices in order to be absolved of sin. It got me to thinking, how big a deal is it to sin?

Of course we all know of the seven deadly sins. " Lust", "Gluttony", "Greed", "Sloth", "Wrath", "Envy", and "Pride". Of course the ten commandments are another list of sins we have to follow. What actually constitutes sin though? I was recently discussing faith and religion with a friend and she told me she often asks for forgiveness for cussing. I found interesting because I never think of cussing as a big deal. I guess I just worry more about the big ones, no murder, no stealing, etc. Is cussing a sin? Am I going to hell for saying the F word?

I know different religions have different beliefs, for instance the Jehovah's Witnesses don't believe in celebrating birthdays. But if you do happen to be JW and decide to celebrate a birthday, is that considered sinning in their eyes? Many conservatist Baptist oppose dancing, does this mean ballerina's are instruments of the devil?

Do I need to make a bigger deal out of the sins I do commit? Am I not doing enough in the eyes of God? Is this way things have been difficult for me? Am I not doing all I should be?

I was listening to a Christian radio station here yesterday. I do listen to it from time to time although most of the time it gets my blood pumping when they start talking adversely about things like homosexuality. Anyway, a mother was on. Her four year old daughter had passed away recently from cancer and the mother was wondering what she had done wrong. She had prayed and believed that God would heal her daughter. She said some people in her church (she failed to say what religion she was) said her daughter may have died for the mothers sins. This infuriated me! What kind of God would kill a child because of the parents sins? Are there people out there that really think this way? Or does God punish sinners in this way?

And this takes me back to my original thoughts. Did the child die because it was God's will or did the child die simply because cancer happens.

So many questions. I am really looking forward to tomorrows church services at the Episcopal church.

Wow! So Enlightening!

I just got off the phone with a Father Barnes (names have been changed to protect the innocent!) from the Epicopal Church here I so wish I could have spoken to him in person and I may at some point, but he gave me so much information about not only the Episcopal Religion but others as well.


Well of course the first thing he told me was the three main religions are Christianity, Islam and Buddism. Of course I knew this...ok, ok, I didnt, or didnt realize it anyway. He went on to explain that the Episcopals have priests, nuns, and are somewhat affiliated with the Vatican. Their priests are however, allowed to marry. It seems as though the Episcopal religion is a little more "liberal" (dare I use that word???) than the Catholics.


He explained that several religions aren't really Christian including the Quakers and the Mormons, which I did not know either. I think I am going to have to do some more research on that as I have always heard differently.He also informed me a little about the mechanics of Salvation and what you have to do to acheive that. The jewish roots that we come from believed that you had to sacrifice something, a lamb, a goat, etc to achieve salvation from sin. Of course once Christ died on the cross the Christians came to believe that Jesus did that for us and we no longer have to have sacrifices.


I am excited about attending the services this Sunday! UGH! I NEED a notebook and a voice recorder right away! Its hard to remember everything that I am told over the phone! Ok, I told you this was going to be a learning process!!

Week One: The Episcopals

I am starting my project with The Episcopalians. Why you ask? Well mainly because there is a beautiful Episcopal church just down the road from me. Yes, I am shallow like that. I really don't know much about the Episcopalian religion. I'm sure I have encountered plenty of the Episcopalians in my time, but I can't think of any off hand and can't think of anything they may have told me about their religion.

From what I have read the Episcopal Church is somewhere between Catholicism and Protestant. I know tons about Catholicism, not so much about Prostestant, although someone did tell me once I should be Protestant. I took that to mean that the Protestants must be outstanding! I guess I will find I get around to checking out the Protestant church here.

Today, I will read up on the Episcopal Church and then try to make an appt with whomever is in charge of the church down the street with me to see if they can answer my questions and give me some information on what their church is all about.

I am very excited about doing this project. I have a few reasons for wanting to do this. As I have already stated I am unemployed. Apparently the odds of getting hit by lightening are greater than finding a job these days. This little project will keep me busy and keep me from becoming too depressed. Which it seems depression and joblessness tend to go hand in hand. The other reason I am doing this is because I have lost a lot of faith over the past year. It all started after my father died. It wasnt because he died, because I get that, he was sick and had been sick and it was his time. No, the reason my faith waned is because I had asked him to send me a specific sign. I did so about a week or so before he passed, I am sure he heard me and understood. As of today, a year and a half later, I have not received this sign. I was sure I would. I started to think of things to appear just as they seemed, and suddenly everything made sense. Kids don't get cancer because God wills it, it just happens. Cancer happens and kids happen to get it. There's no one up there pulling the strings, things just happen. Bad things don't just happen to good people, bad things just happen. Again, everything is just random, no rhyme or reason, just random. This revelation went against everything I have always believed in. I believed in prayer and God and an all seeing, all knowing entity, but I guess I don't anymore.

Mainly I am doing this because I need answers.

Questions

Dear Readers (if I have any), I need to come up with a list of questions to ask the priests, ministers, rabbis and others that I talk with. I will edit this as I think of one. If anyone else out there can think of a question I can ask, please, feel free to put it in the comments box. Thanks.

1)What are the core beliefs of your religion?

2) Do you believe in heaven, hell or an afterlife?

3) Do you believe God is an all knowing, all seeing prescence (I feel like I could reword this better, suggestions welcomed)

More to come...

The Quest

The Quest: Find a religion, one that I can identify with, relate to, and appreciate.

The Person: Thea, a 39 year old single mom living in Fort Worth, Texas, that is for the most part religuless. Ok, thats not a word, I am without a religion.


The challenge, if you want to call it that, consists of me going to area churches and finding a religion. I guess this is going to be a little more difficult than I originally planned as there are hundreds of religions.

Baptist
Catholic
Methodist
Seventh Day Adventist
Episcopal
Church of Christ
Judaism
Mormon
and on and on and on.

Well, a little about me. I am currently and have been for most of my life without a basic religion. My parents did not attend church regularly, so for most of my life I have not either. I, having grown up in Memphis Tn, went to Catholic School, because if you are school aged and living in Memphis Tn, going to public school IS NOT AN OPTION. So for many years I identified only with catholicism. Actually I tried to be baptized Catholic in my early thirties and was "kicked out" of catechism classes. Apparently I ask too many questions, or questions that they couldnt answer. Needless to say that was the end of Catholicism for me. More on that later.

Why am I doing this. Well for a variety of reason. One, I am unemployed, been unemployed for a while. I need something, besides job searching and mini nervous breakdowns, to keep me occupied. Two, over the past year or so, I have really begun to question the existance of God. I guess you could say I am a borderline atheist. I would rather believe than not believe, so I am on a quest for some answers. I would also like to learn a little more about the different religions. I know the basics and of course the things you hear on TV, like pentacostals kissing snakes, and Scientologists worshipping aliens. But do they really? These will be some interesting questions to have answered.

So to start this little project, I need to start thinking of a list of questions to ask the various religious leaders. This will start the project going, my first church attendance will be next Sunday. I guess I need to decide who to hit first. The Episcopals maybe?