Well a snowstorm and Christmas put my trip to the SDA church here off for a bit. I am still here and looking forward to the new year/new decade!
I have been thinking a lot lately about what works. Prayers go unanswered, positive thinking is a crock, so what works? Fung Shei? Voo Doo? Witchcraft? Spells? Rituals? Sacrifices? Is there anything out there that works in the spiritual realm? I have become such a skeptic in the past year or so, I have come to the conclusion that nothing works. There is no way to change things or make things happen other than hard work and luck.
I used to believe firmly in the power of prayer but if God hears my prayers he certainly doesn't seem to answer them. Nor does He direct me in the right path. Or maybe He does and I just don't know it, but it doesn't feel that way to me. I'm unemployed, single mom raising two children entirely alone. All I want, ALL I am praying for is a job to keep a roof over our heads and allow me to raise them without struggling. Simple right? Well apparently not. Its been two years now since I have worked steady. My inheritance is gone. I've beat my head against the wall trying to think of a business/idea that would net me an income and nothing has panned out. Now I'm broke, my credits gone to shit. God forbid my car breaks down, or even worse that I become ill and can't even look for work. Yes, I know, I'm whining again and I HATE it. I am so frustrated. I just want life to stop being so damned difficult. Anyway, yes, I KNOW I have it better than a lot of people, but damn it I have it worse than a lot of people too.
I just keep dredging along. Cheers, and Happy New Year! Looking forward to better times on the horizon!
