Waiting for the New Year!

Well a snowstorm and Christmas put my trip to the SDA church here off for a bit. I am still here and looking forward to the new year/new decade!

I have been thinking a lot lately about what works. Prayers go unanswered, positive thinking is a crock, so what works? Fung Shei? Voo Doo? Witchcraft? Spells? Rituals? Sacrifices? Is there anything out there that works in the spiritual realm? I have become such a skeptic in the past year or so, I have come to the conclusion that nothing works. There is no way to change things or make things happen other than hard work and luck.

I used to believe firmly in the power of prayer but if God hears my prayers he certainly doesn't seem to answer them. Nor does He direct me in the right path. Or maybe He does and I just don't know it, but it doesn't feel that way to me. I'm unemployed, single mom raising two children entirely alone. All I want, ALL I am praying for is a job to keep a roof over our heads and allow me to raise them without struggling. Simple right? Well apparently not. Its been two years now since I have worked steady. My inheritance is gone. I've beat my head against the wall trying to think of a business/idea that would net me an income and nothing has panned out. Now I'm broke, my credits gone to shit. God forbid my car breaks down, or even worse that I become ill and can't even look for work. Yes, I know, I'm whining again and I HATE it. I am so frustrated. I just want life to stop being so damned difficult. Anyway, yes, I KNOW I have it better than a lot of people, but damn it I have it worse than a lot of people too.

I just keep dredging along. Cheers, and Happy New Year! Looking forward to better times on the horizon!

Week Twenty? It's Seventh Day Adventist Week!!!!!

A minor bit of trivia about me is that I actually was a Seventh Day Adventist breifly growing up. It was probably the happiest time of what was otherwise a turbulent childhood.

What is Seventh Day Adventist? Well its a bizarre combination of Judaism and Christianity. They go to church on Saturday and have similiar dietary restrictions as Judaism, in fact most SDA's are vegetarians. They also believe very much in the second coming and the end of times.

I remember going to Sabbath school and my mom reading a great deal about Revelations and armegeddon. Of course this was in the seventies and everyone thought the world was going to end by 2001. As we know now, it didnt. I will be calling the SDA church here today, get more information and attend church this SATURDAY!!!!

I want to mention that I have fallen behind in my blog as I have been experiencing a great deal of depression and stress. An almost debilitating depression to be honest. I continue to be out of work and of course the stresses of taking care of two children occasionally take their toll on me. I'm doing what I can to dig myself out, and I am hoping with prayers and hard work things will improve. The feelings of hopelessness are palpable, some days are better though, I want to thank everyone that is out there praying for me.

Also, I want to thank the anonymous donor that hit the donate button! Donations help me continue this blog as well as help my current financial situation. Keep them coming, no matter how big or small.

Happy Holidays and I am so excited to be revisiting my youth this week with a visit to the local Seventh Day Adventist Church!